interesting situation

[greenldsgirl]

I want to get your take on this situation.

 My husband and I went out to dinner last nightfor our anniversary and my mom (who has borderline personality disorder) came over and watched our 7-month-old daughter. Our daughter slept most of the time, so my mom was kind of just sitting around before my daughter woke up and then she played with her and  got her ready for bed. Sounds pretty normal, right?
However, when my husband and got home, we noticed that in our bedroom, the box for our dvd player (that can hook up to our laptops) was on a desk that we have in our bedroom, but the dvd player was put away. We were a little confused because neither my husband nor I had taken it out in a very long time (heck, I don't even know how to use it), and even if we did, we would not leave the box on the desk and put just the dvd player back in. It was not that way before my mom came, so logically, it could have only been my mom. Plus, sometimes she likes to watch shows on her laptop while she is babysitting and my daughter is sleeping, so it made sense that maybe my mom wanted to use the dvd player this time. We checked for any signs of if someone had somehow broken in and had been super quiet, but we couldn't find anything there either.
The main issue behind her using our dvd player is not that she used it, but that it meant she went into our bedroom without our permission and went through the drawers in our desk, which is a violation of our privacy. I messaged her about it last night, just mentioning that I found it on the desk and that if she would like to use it in the future, she can just ask us before hand and we can get it out for her, but that we don't want people going in our room without our permission or going through our drawers. She texted me back this morning and said that she never went into our room and would never look into our desk, and that it must have been one of us. We have jogged our memory and we can't remember any instance at all where we would have done that yesterday, nor any reason why we would have. The only thing that seems to make logical sense is that she went in there and lied about it. We have given her permission to use our desk a few months ago for something, and after that she had gone in there without our permission. In addition, another time, I mentioned I needed a notepad for something and she said she could get it out of the desk for one of us, indicating that she knew to some extent what was in the drawers, so the statement that she would never go through our drawers or go into our bedroom does not quite match up with that.
In your experience, do people that experience borderline personality disorder tend to lie? I'm just trying to make sense of this and figure out what to do. This just feels like a major breach of privacy and trust, but I don't want to just make assumptions.

[beatricex]

hi greenldsgirl,
Yes, my BPD'd mom goes through everyone's stuff, then later forgets she did so.  It is a compulsion with her, to know everything about everyone else's personal life.  However, I'm not sure it's "lying" because she truly cannot remember doing it.

Our daughter also goes through our drawers, in our bathroom when she comes to our house, and admitted to us she does this at everyone's house.  Not a big deal, if all she was doing was trying to see what makeup products I use (she sells makeup).  However, if she were to find my medications, that would have made me angry, as it's really none of her business what medications I'm on.  She also loves to gossip, so if she found something, I'm sure it would be passed along, in a not so flattering light.

We started locking our bedroom/master bath door when she came over, after she admitted to rifling through our stuff.  No lie there, she was absolutely bold about doing it (and knowing it was wrong too).

b