(I'm a US citizen living in Japan) Please someone who can relate. My wife is crazy (everyone is telling me) and I can't take it anymore. I'm scared of her because of how much power she has over me. She has our daughter, she's followed through on her threats: Holding on to our money without sharing it, not allowing me to see my daughter, threatened to kick me out of our apartment or cut the electricity (I got control over it so it won't happen now), her mom threatened to not let me see my daughter if I didn't want to talk to her, and my wife hasn't shown me any sign trying to let anything go my way. All she says is, "So you're saying you want a divorce?" whenever I put up any boundary. She has the keys to the apartment and hasn't left anything of value here so she can come to my apartment and wreak havoc at any time or call the police on me again. If she divorces me, I have to leave the country but I can still fight for visitation after divorce. Not only does my wife have BPD, her parents as well. They have an emeshed family and it's so bad.
She just messaged me saying, "Do you want a divorce? Or do you want to continue this marriage?" She's been saying divorce since we got married to get her way. I've usually been able to laugh it off because her threats at the time were empty because I had my life together. As soon as I moved to Japan, she wanted control over everything and her mom was being very controlling. Her mom is the worse. I cannot deal with her mom and my wife at the same time.
My therapist is doing whatever he can and after telling him everything I could, one of the first things he said was, "You can't deal with crazy on crazy terms."
Please, someone, I don't think this is going to work out but I want to be with my daughter and perhaps stick it out until I can have a better control over my daughter's life. This isn't the first time I've felt this panic, It's just happening again. This is what happens when I think about getting back with my wife.
