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Author Topic: Psychologist keeps bringing up divorce  (Read 589 times)
Granite Chief
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« on: February 18, 2021, 10:53:52 AM »

Its been a while but things are going well for the most part.

I started seeing a Psychologist to help with my issues.  He is a proclaimed expert on BPD and keeps telling me I should consider divorce. I think that is strange...Should I just tell him to stop? He has no reason to think this except for the fact people that have BPD are difficult.
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Granite Chief mountain is located in the Sierra Nevada mountain range near Lake Tahoe.
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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2021, 11:40:48 AM »

Perhaps he wants you to consider all possibilities. You’re paying him, so if it makes you uncomfortable to hear about divorce, you can tell him to stop mentioning it.
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
maxsterling
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« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2021, 12:55:58 PM »

I was seeing a T for about two years.  I was about 15 minutes into my first session with her describing my r/s issues, and she said that she thought my W had BPD.  I told her that yes she does, that she has been diagnosed.  The next year and a half she never brought up divorce, but tried to work on ways that I could get more space for myself, be more assertive, and communicate with W better.  After about a year and a half I think she started to feel frustrated, and at that point flat out said to me that I was in an abusive relationship, and things really could not improve as long as I was in that abusive relationship.  Again, never used the word "divorce" but my interpretation was that she felt she could really not help me more unless it was about guiding me out of the r/s. 

She wound up moving offices to an inconvenient location and I stopped going. 

How long have you been seeing this T?  I think it inappropriate for him to bring up divorce unless you have seen him for awhile or unless you have brought it up first.
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Granite Chief
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« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2021, 07:25:50 PM »

Yeah, I guess that I could just tell him to stop.

We have been together for three years and as my boundaries get better my relationship gets better. Things are improving so that is why I am like...I do not see things like the head doctor.

This is probably me just questioning my own judgment.
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