Thanks I will use search bar and look through advice. Id like to explain in detail what a specific situation looks like so I can get advice. The current silent treatment I am receiving is because I came home from getting body work done (deep tissue, cupping and scraping massage) with cupping marks on my face from getting my jaw worked on. They are circular bruises. I warned him after the last massage I would be getting this done but forgot to bring it up again. I also planned to wear my neck gaiter in public so my bruises were covered and told him it was ok to not go out with me if it made him uncomfortable (people stare).
I came home and went to say hi and he was on the phone with his mom. Apparently the conversation was upsetting but I had no idea. His reaction was shock and horror followed by anger and avoidance in quick succession. He said someone along the line of why would you do that? Followed by, its gross, while still on the phone. So, I said hey that's kinda unnecessary to say and went to shower. After, I knocked on his door and asked if we could hang out or what was going on. He was still really upset and clearly not communicating what was really bothering him. Telling me it looks disgusting, I cant look at you etc. All of which are starting to make me feel real
PLEASE READty about myself. I think he's upset with his mom and projecting onto me. He said something about listening to her conspiracy theories (she's hardcore right wing) and her saying she doesnt care if theres no evidence for the things she believes in. Theres not a whole bunch of scientific evidence of the benefits of the bodywork I get (I find it incredibly helpful for managing pain and he knows that) so he basically told me he equated the conversation with his mom to my bodywork. Which, seems like a stretch to compare lack of evidence cupping helps to far fetched conspiracy theories. Am I wrong?
So I'm currently being ignored after trying to explain the way he's treating me isnt meeting my emotional needs and that his reaction to the bruising on my face from body work is unnecessarily strong. I'm angry, hurt and frustrated... we had plans and he blew our whole day over this. The whole resolution thing isnt for him, its for me cuz it hurts to be ignored/abused like this. It appears he's self soothing just fine, as long as I mutually ignore him. What do I do?