On the DBT waitlist

[Parents! Get help here!]

I've only been on this site for a week but y'all seem very supportive. One thing I noticed is that a lot of us are on a waitlist for DBT. I've had a book "The Dialectical Behavior Skills Workbook" for a couple years but it's geared more towards a professional.

While I'm waiting for an actual professional, my daughter agreed that she will let me read a section or two to her once a week and see if we can't start working on the basics now. I don't think it will solve anything but maybe I can remind her of what we talked about that week it will plant a seed for future interactions. Now I just have to get my husband on board with the program (that's another subject altogether). Regular talk therapy has not been helpful so far. (except that she knows all the right things to say : ( )

[JD2028]

I've only been on this site for a week but y'all seem very supportive. One thing I noticed is that a lot of us are on a waitlist for DBT. I've had a book "The Dialectical Behavior Skills Workbook" for a couple years but it's geared more towards a professional.

While I'm waiting for an actual professional, my daughter agreed that she will let me read a section or two to her once a week and see if we can't start working on the basics now. I don't think it will solve anything but maybe I can remind her of what we talked about that week it will plant a seed for future interactions. Now I just have to get my husband on board with the program (that's another subject altogether). Regular talk therapy has not been helpful so far. (except that she knows all the right things to say : ( )

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kat1027]

My daughter has started DBT. Despite insurance, they are private pay only & we foot the bill. It will be worth it if she finds healing.
She is a few weeks in & it’s been an unpleasant experience. She is often physically ill during sessions & after. Her anxiety is so severe that she starts throwing up when presented with many situations.
Before this counselor, we were private paying a therapist for somatic experiencing. I firmly believe our best hope was there, but this therapist was not practicing as advertised. My daughter was getting astrology & gemstones instead of body/emotional awareness & healing. We have also tried EMDR, but she was a teen & minimally engaged.
She has heard enough that DBT is the gold standard for BPD that this is the only option she was willing to try. I will admit that she has described more body work from these sessions than any with the SEP provider.
I am a therapist & wish that my daughter could receive help from me. She cannot & sometimes I think she resents my ability to help others and not her.
Best of luck on your journey

[Mama Goose]

I wish there were more DBT Therapists and Programs available.  My therapist would say if you have a motivated loved one (to conquer their trauma and use the skills) that is more than half the battle.  My daughter left Menninger's Compass Program (Failure to Launch) 2 1/2 years ago.  She is actively using her skills, even acting as her own therapist, still getting to therapy and group therapy, working, repairing relationships, taking her meds, cognizant of her values and beliefs and living life with them in tact.  Until you can get your beauty into therapy try teaching her some general grounding skills for when her distress is large.  I would also focus on Distress Tolerance Skills for her first.  For you, work on learning how to validate her feelings.
Last thought, look up NEABPD (www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org) they offer a free 12 week class for family members of a loved one with BPD/Emotion Dysregulation.  The class is Family Connections -- you can sign up online to get on the waitlist.  There are many helpful resources on their sight as well.  Having BPD Family as a resource is fabulous too!

Mama Goose

[JD2028]

Thanks Mama Goose. Last night we got a phone call that my husband and daughter will start group DBT next week. I appreciate the link to the other site, I will def check it out.