welcome Yoyocait
You did a brave thing by making your first post
good job. you are joining a website where we have all been where you are now. we have all had badly dysfunctional relationships and felt the pain and confusion they bring.
Something that is acceptable to him one day, won’t be acceptable the next.
Yes. pwBPD (people with BPD) have harmfully intense emotions that change very rapidly, additionally they believe that the emotions of the moment are totally accurate and will last forever. until they don't. making things even more complex is the BPD trait of seeing their emotions as being caused by others or by events outside themselves, with no belief that they have any sort of control over their emotions. it is a complicated illness that often leaves others walking on egg shells.
Usually this starts with an over reaction, nasty name calling, blaming me for everything negative in the relationship. Saying I have anger problems, saying I’m verbally and physically abusive (I’m absolutely not)
BPD anger and rage is a maladaptive coping tool where pwBPD project their negative emotions (mostly shame and fear) away from themselves and onto the people closest too them. its very very difficult to be on the receiving end of this type of emotional dysregulation. I know it was for me.
Every time I seek some form of accountability, it ends in an episode which makes him take the place of victim over me.
I understand. I get it. Most of us, heck all of us have been where you are now. pwBPD do experience a great deal of relationship instability with the 'I love you - go away, I hate you - don't leave me' message they telegraph with their chaotic behavior.
how are you doing today? how are you feeling after finding this website and doing some reading here?
'ducks
