Introduction Post

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hello everyone,

I am really excited to have found this forum. This is my first post so please bear with me.

What is the type of relationship? 
Both my mom and my sister have BPD

What is the status of the relationship? 
Mom- full contact- we talk on the phone once or twice a week, have in person visits fairly regularly (every month- 3 months)*
Sister- limited contact- no contact just us two, only see each other at scheduled family events (every 3-6 months)*

*Of course, these are both subject to change at any time, and they frequently do

How is the current status working for you?
Mom- works pretty well! I'm actually really happy with the progress my mom and I have made recently to get to this point
Sister- this is working well for now. My sister choosing to speak to me is very recent (we went over a year without speaking) and I hope to continue this progression to a similar status that my mom and I have

What is the top challenge you face with your loved one?
Both- I am engaged and preparing for my wedding. Having them both involved in an appropriate way has been challenging already

How would you categorize your loved one?
Mom- undiagnosed BPD, convinced it's my sister only who has BPD
Sister- diagnosed BPD, has not accepted her diagnosis, convinced it's my mom only who has BPD

What do you struggle with yourself?
Setting limits and maintaining boundaries, respecting my own needs (I have frequent unjustified feelings of guilt)

What are your goals at bpdfamily?
To finally have a support system that I can relate to and who can relate to me

[megan123]

Hello everyone,

I am really excited to have found this forum. This is my first post so please bear with me.

What is the type of relationship? 
Both my mom and my sister have BPD

What is the status of the relationship? 
Mom- full contact- we talk on the phone once or twice a week, have in person visits fairly regularly (every month- 3 months)*
Sister- limited contact- no contact just us two, only see each other at scheduled family events (every 3-6 months)*

*Of course, these are both subject to change at any time, and they frequently do

How is the current status working for you?
Mom- works pretty well! I'm actually really happy with the progress my mom and I have made recently to get to this point
Sister- this is working well for now. My sister choosing to speak to me is very recent (we went over a year without speaking) and I hope to continue this progression to a similar status that my mom and I have

What is the top challenge you face with your loved one?
Both- I am engaged and preparing for my wedding. Having them both involved in an appropriate way has been challenging already

How would you categorize your loved one?
Mom- undiagnosed BPD, convinced it's my sister only who has BPD
Sister- diagnosed BPD, has not accepted her diagnosis, convinced it's my mom only who has BPD

What do you struggle with yourself?
Setting limits and maintaining boundaries, respecting my own needs (I have frequent unjustified feelings of guilt)

What are your goals at bpdfamily?
To finally have a support system that I can relate to and who can relate to me

[pursuingJoy]

m123, welcome! We're glad you're here!

So your sister thinks only your mom has BPD, and your mom insists only your sister has BPD. What an interesting dynamic!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  We've had several members here that have gone through wedding preparations with a BPD family member. We'd be happy to help you brainstorm solutions, if that would be helpful. We're also a good place to vent should you ever need to.

Let us know how we can support you.