Appointment with H’s P

[Cat Familiar]

I too had no luck confronting my husband about his drinking. It drove a wedge between us as I continued to harp on it.

Recently he was going through a stressful time and he drank to excess while taking ibuprofen for some arthritic pain issues. Not good to combine the two. When he discovered tarry stools, he realized he’d made a big mistake. Of course he blamed the ibuprofen, not the alcohol.

The issue resolved within a few days. He’s scheduled an appointment with his GI doc. And he hasn’t had a drop of alcohol in probably three weeks.

He’s a much pleasanter person when he’s not drinking. He can regulate his emotions better and his sleep patterns have improved. We’ll see how long this lasts.

[formflier]

 
A question something like this "How does ignoring your P's prescription instructions improve our relationship?"

Or perhaps

"How does ignoring your P's prescription instructions help your behavior inside our relationship?  "  (he has been bringing up how good he will do...so...let's have an answer)

Best,

FF

[Ozzie101]

Good suggestions, FF.

Cat, that’s what I experience. Addressing it does more harm than good — though actually having a doctor say “no” and us both hearing it opens a new pathway.

He’s definitely better to be around when he’s abstaining. It’s not always explosive or dysregulatory, but even when he’s more balanced, the alcohol often makes him more argumentative and unreasonable. Occasionally, he’s normal and fine and there isn’t the slightest problem. Usually depends on whether or not he’s eaten and what kind of mood he was in to start with.

The fact that I don’t drink at all (personal preference, not a moral/religious one — I hate the taste and am very sensitive to it) can make it worse too. He says it makes him feel like a bad person that I don’t do it.

[formflier]

  He says it makes him feel like a bad person that I don’t do it.

How often does he say things like this?  I think there is a pathway here.  SET coupled with encouragement and "more relationship" with you.


Best,

FF

[Ozzie101]

Not often anymore. He used to do a lot of comparing himself to me and then feeling guilty for things. (Being divorced. Being impatient/not good with kids. Having sex before he and I met. Drinking.) I don’t know if he still does it but, if he does, he doesn’t talk about it as much.