Boyfriend

[Suzie2]

Hi, this is my first post. Not completely sure how this works yet. My boyfriend has BPD, diagnosed about 6 months ago. We are trying to get him into DBT. He can realize what he does and how he makes me feel in the negative moments  and wants to change. It does take some time to get him to it though. In the moments of him feeling scared anxious and desperate, it comes out as controlling , it’s hard for him to remember it and will blame me for pretty much everything. It’s always very wrongly accusing things. He can get very insecure, while I’m at work or even focusing attention on friends. I’ve done so much research and listen to podcasts of people who have recovered. It gives me hope. He is such a good caring guy.  It can flip in an instant though and I’m left confused.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

DBT is the ideal form of therapy for people with BPD, as you probably know. The difficulty is getting commitment from the individual to pursue and continue therapy. That he is aware of how his behavior impacts you is a good first step. The next step is taking responsibility for it in the moment.

[pursuingJoy]

Welcome susie2! Thanks for sharing. I'm glad to hear he's open to DBT therapy.

Do you feel like you have the tools you need to respond effectively? How are you feeling with all of this?