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Author Topic: Will they move and become healthier and happier?  (Read 67 times)
HealingTee

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 29


« on: September 15, 2021, 07:29:44 AM »

is it possible for someone with BPD to move on to a new relationship and become healthier and better?

Also, it’s strange how some friends of the BPD have no idea that there is something wrong with the BPD person. Will their friends a family eventually realize that the person with BPD is unstable?
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grumpydonut
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 342



« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2021, 08:13:02 AM »

Possible - yes.

Likely - no.

I find the best thing to deal with this question is to read the definition of Borderline.

"borderline is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships, distorted sense of self, and strong emotional reactions"

As for the rest, the family likely already know - or have rationalised the behaviour. Friends can take longer to realise, if they're kept at a distance. But ultimately, they'll likely realise too.
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Janie Starks

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: complicated
Posts: 14



« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2021, 08:39:43 AM »

Possible - yes.

Likely - no.

I agree with Grumpydonut, it's not a disorder that goes away after a while, they can work in therapy on the triggers and how they respond to them, but in the end it's an unstable long-pattern.

Will their friends a family eventually realize that the person with BPD is unstable?

I think that my pwBPD's mother is the only person who really realized how unstable he is. Even his close friends and his childhood friends, who he hangs out all the time only have a vague idea. They think he's "a lil crazy", very impulsive and sometimes throws hands. But they approach it lightly, they laugh and joke about it. They have no idea of the pain he causes and how devastating his splitting is.
My pwBPD cares a lot about his façade, we never had a fight in front of other people, he never mistreated me in front of his friends/family. Even if we had a catastrophic fight 5 minutes earlier, he'll then act like we're a perfect loving couple so he can keep his image.
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A heart's a heavy burden -
Neuro

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
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« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2021, 09:05:22 AM »

My ex use to tell me that she only feels resentment to me and her parents. They seem to behave negatively more so with the people they are closest to. Also, I have always wondered the same thing, will they change and be happier in another relationship. I think the answer is you can’t really know, but if they exhibit the same issues with the next person and don’t get treatment, then what is the probability?
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