Mother with BPD

[Our abuse recovery guide]

After a horrible breakup with my spouse and a nightmare of a divorce with minor children and PAS (I did not see them for two years now) and one year of psychotherapy I had been told that the cause could be that my ex is suffering from BPD. During therapy I did learn that my mother is also likely to have BPD because she acts very toxic in many ways. This is why I did chose a spouse with BPD. Now my mum and my ex seem to team up against me because my boundary skills had been trained in therapy what they do not like at all. Because of my health condition I had to cut off nearly all contact to these two people. Because of my health and a distorsion campaign I nearly lost my job. I did see my family doctor several times in the past but she does not have any good explanation for my health issues (over all Body pain, IBS, joint pain PTSD etc.). I tried major life changes like like having healthy diet doing sports but nothing helped. I‘m in this condition now for more than two years. I don‘t no how to go on anymore. Any ideas ?

[Chrischie]

After a horrible breakup with my spouse and a nightmare of a divorce with minor children and PAS (I did not see them for two years now) and one year of psychotherapy I had been told that the cause could be that my ex is suffering from BPD. During therapy I did learn that my mother is also likely to have BPD because she acts very toxic in many ways. This is why I did chose a spouse with BPD. Now my mum and my ex seem to team up against me because my boundary skills had been trained in therapy what they do not like at all. Because of my health condition I had to cut off nearly all contact to these two people. Because of my health and a distorsion campaign I nearly lost my job. I did see my family doctor several times in the past but she does not have any good explanation for my health issues (over all Body pain, IBS, joint pain PTSD etc.). I tried major life changes like like having healthy diet doing sports but nothing helped. I‘m in this condition now for more than two years. I don‘t no how to go on anymore. Any ideas ?

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Chrischie, 

Sounds like it's been a really rough time for you, and I am so sorry.

Have you looked at any of the non-traditional forms of medicine for some help?

 
Wools

[Chrischie]

Thank you Wools,

I did try alternative healing methods like acupuncture and homeopathy. Didn‘t really work for a long time. I am so desperate that I could imagine seeing a healer.

Best

[Notwendy]

Have you considered a functional medicine doctor? Also counseling. I know that you are aware that emotional issues can be related to physical symptoms. This is not to say "its all in your head". It's not. It's that your body is telling you something- you are hurting.

Consider that this pain is telling you something- that you need self care. Body work can help- massage helps because it not only reduces pain but it's a form of taking care of yourself.

Seeing a healer- be sure they are not completely out there but things like energy work, Reikki, have been known to have positive effects.

A counselor who has experience with emotional trauma may help you get to some of that. Your symptoms are real physical symptoms but emotions are likely involved in them.

Hope you feel better soon.

[khibomsis]

Hey Chrischie,I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I just wanted to say that kombucha cured my IBS. That and rigorously managing my stress levels (including the toxic people in my life) Hope you get better soon!

[HappyChappy]

... my mother is also likely to have BPD because she acts very toxic in many ways. This is why I did chose a spouse with BPD. Now my mum and my ex seem to team up against me.

Your story is very similar to mine, it's common for history (and IBS) to repeat itself, as BPD go for a certain type of person (fabulous people like you and me  ).  Google "flying monkeys BPD" to get an idea of why they team up.

I found my IBS was more relate to stress, and as the CBT therapy eased the CPTSD the local "climate" became less windy. I also found reading other people’s posts on here about PSTD and BPD behaviour patterns helpful at letting go of the past and identifying behaviour to avoid (which reduces stress). Like most things it's probably a mix of various things you have to try.

My IBS only comes back during high stress, but luckily my BPD mum has a dog I can blame it on.   My BPD mum use to vibrate the couch with her a IBS and then start a conversation about it, one of her many techniques to get us to pay attention to her rather than the TV. My wife stuck to her story that she's never released wind in her entire life - so I always had to take the blame.   It sounds like you've got a lot to work through if you've had double trouble. I had loads of CBT sessions before I started to notice an improvement. Keep posting here, if it helps, keep doing all the things that show an improvement. I kept a diary, as sometimes the improvements are slight. You'll get there and hopefully the fear will turn to laughter. Keep posting if it helps, the Ambassidors on here give very good advice.