Today is my first day on this site and I am reading as much as I can. My daughter is 17 and last year was diagnosed with BPD.
I was reading through your post and my heart just hurt. I relate so strongly to what you are saying. Up to the point where she moved out with her boyfriend I could have written you post myself. I am so scared for what is to come. I dont know who to turn to as my friends dont understand. I know we are being judged as parents and most dont even really believe in BPD or believe that we just have to teach her how to handle her emotions. Like its THAT easy. Or as if we havent tried that.
I struggle with the thoughts that what we did during her childhood made things worse and that we have set her up for a life that will be filled with struggle. We are doing therapy to try and get ourselves into a better place.
My husband and I downplayed her outbursts and honestly parented her completely wrong. I have so much guilt. I cry about it almost every day honestly. I cant handle the stress and sadness and if I cant get MY
PLEASE READ together, how am I supposed to be a good role model to her.
My daughter would also sleep walk. She also recently told me she would get such bad nightmares and would lie in bed begging and chanting to have a peaceful sleep. How heartbreaking.
When she discovered weed at 15 and the ability to SLEEP without fear of sleeping she was hooked. Ive tried to help her make better choices but the benefits of weed for her are so strong that she refuses.
I am so scared we will lose her. Through estrangement or even worse suicide. She has told me several times she just cant live like this.
Its all too much to bear some days.
I feel like the happiness in our home is 100% dependent on her mood. If she is mad - everyone is on eggshells. If she is happy - we get to be happy too.
I just wanted to message and share. Let you know I see you and understand your pain deeply. xo