Should I just say at the divorce counseling appointment, "I want us both to get interviewed by someone who is an expert at BPD so we can protect our kids"
What would you consider an expert at BPD?
https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-borderline-personality-disorderIn the link above it talks about the typical process of a diagnosis. Most specifically the conventional tests available.
The Diagnostic Interview for Borderline Patients (DIB-R) is the best-known "test" for diagnosing BPD. The DIB is a semi structured clinical interview that takes about 50-90 minutes to administer. The test, developed to be administered by skilled clinicians, consists of 132 questions and observations using 329 summary statements. The test looks at areas of functioning associated with borderline personality disorder. The four areas of functioning include Affect (chronic/major depression, helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt, anger, anxiety, loneliness, boredom, emptiness), Cognition (odd thinking, unusual perceptions, non-delusional paranoia, quasi-psychosis), Impulse action patterns (substance abuse/dependence, sexual deviance, manipulative suicide gestures, other impulsive behaviors), and Interpersonal relationships (intolerance of aloneness, abandonment, engulfment, annihilation fears, counter-dependency, stormy relationships, manipulative behaviours, dependency, devaluation, masochism/sadism, demandingness, entitlement).
https://bpdfamily.com/content/borderline-personality-disorderMy Ex partner no longer reached the level of clinically diagnosed BPD in that she did not meet the requisite number of Criterion. Specifically, numbers 4 and 5
Individuals with borderline personality disorder display impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (Criterion 4). They may gamble, spend money irresponsibly, binge eat, abuse substances, engage in unsafe sex, or drive recklessly. Individuals with this disorder display recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior (Criterion 5).
My partner did experience fugue states and hallucinations.
Some individuals develop psychotic-like symptoms (e.g., hallucinations, body-image distortions, ideas of reference, hypnagogic phenomena) during times of stress.
BPD is often comorbid with other disorders:
Common co-occurring disorders include depressive and bipolar disorders, substance use disorders, eating disorders (notably bulimia nervosa), posttraumatic stress disorder, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Borderline personality disorder also frequently co-occurs with the other personality disorders.
In an NIH study of 34,653 people*, of those that had clinical BPD,
74% had another personality disorder,
75% also had a mood disorder, and
74% also had an anxiety disorder.
Its not unheard of for the treating professional to diagnosis the 'other' commonly occurring disorder and avoid the BPD label as that has proven to be problematic. Depending on where you are and the condition of the mental health community BPD diagnosis can be counter productive.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=68149.0"Why is a BPD diagnosis not given out more often?" It's at the root of a great insecurity many have... .is the person in my life "ill" or is it me? What does it all mean when a person in our life fits many of the criteria of BPD or BPD traits (but not the obvious tangible criteria sch as cutting, suicide)and have seen a therapists and not been diagnosed or treated.
I think Skip raises good points. Getting a diagnosis can provide a sense of relief. What are you hoping a diagnosis will provide for your family,
specifically? How do you see this protecting your family?