Hi everyone. I'm glad I found this site and now I can see that I'm not alone. My BPD Ex gf has destroyed everything I've worked towards yet again. I met her three years ago and we fell into a relationship fairly quickly. She had told me about her past relationships where she was abused mentally and physically. She always placed herself as an innocent victim. I promised her she'd never have to worry about anything like that from me. Little did I know I was in store for the worst emotional abuse of my life...Yet I continued to go back. My ex started to show signs of her BPD but I was blind in love so I didn't notice them. Explosive anger from nowhere and accusing me of talking to other women. She'd start little fights then reel me back in. We decided to become engaged and shortly after she became pregnant with our son. One month into the pregnancy she was angry nearly every day with me and only me. She broke off the engagement and then continued to belittle me daily. A few weeks later she told me she hated me and wanted nothing to do with me...yet expected me to continue to pay her bills, rent, and car payment. Like a fool I did just that...only to ensure my unborn son and her two daughters had a home and transportation. During the pregnancy I continued to attempt to work on our relationship. She began to wear her engagement ring again but was sleeping with her abusive ex husband at the same time. Then she became involved with another woman and lied about that as well...even though she allowed that woman to stay with her and be physical with her in plain sight. At this point I said to myself that I was done and I attempted to move on. I stopped paying her bills and her car was repossessed. I was a piece of crap and worthless and she told all her family and friends that I was the problem. I was told that my son wasn't mine in a fit of rage only to be told she was sorry and she was just trying to hurt me the next day. Her new relationship turned violent and our son was abused (which she never told me and I had to find out from CPS months after the incident) as well as her by her then gf. I helped her escape the relationship only for her to return to it. I was the best thing in her life back to being worthless daily. Her anger outbursts were uncontrollable. I walked on eggshells daily. We rekindled our relationship after she left her gf for the last time. She used me to get a new car after her children were taken by CPS. She used me for money and stability all while belittling me and threatening to take my son from me. I walked on these eggshells every single minute of every day to avoid conflict. Her mood swings were inevitable but I could never time them. I was made to feel less of a man every day. She was diagnosed BPD PTSD ANXIETY and sent to a state counselor...who she lies to about her true actions so she may beat the system. I lost my money, my credit, and my happiness. I wish I had seen the bigger picture but I feel as if these people pull us in and make us love so hard we become blind. I have a long road ahead and I am so glad to have found a place to talk with people who understand the pain.
I am sorry to hear what you went through but what can I say, welcome to the club.
They destroy everything good in their lives and leave a train wreck. Abuse or be abused from one relationship to the next.
