I've been talking to a therapist monthly for the last 2 years about my relationship with my uBPDw. He has a few clients that have partners with BPD but he doesn't necessarily specialize in it. The sessions usually start with him asking how I'm doing and what I want to talk about today. He's super validating and I do feel better after talking to him, however I'm thinking I want more structure in my sessions. Like goals or specific things to work on. When he asks me what I want to talk about today what should I say? I don't want it to be just a monthly vent session but actually work towards some goals...any ideas?
Some things I've asked him about in the past:
How to decide if my uBPDw and I should have a 3rd child
How to not be so afraid of conflict.
How to be more assertive and ask for things I want (see family, friends, do hobbies, etc)
How about refusing to go in to therapy for something that is not within your power to change?
Plus, it is your therapists responsibility, especially if BPD is not his expertise, to have a plan in place. I assume he does not do it for free? If you feel you are getting stuck and/or do not feel you get any progress, it is your therapists responsibility. Not yours.
Does your H know you're in therapy because of his behavior?
Why do you do it? To give him even more validation that you will do anything to love him?
Sorry, but this frustrates me. If you get hammered on the hand, you don't ask how you should hold your hand to absorb the blows and deal with the pain. You ask them to stop hammering.
