Mutt,
Thank you for posting. It always makes me feel validated when I read about the experiences of the senior people here who have lived through so much and have rebuilt their lives. And that even you all experience and cope with the aftermath of your relationship with your ex-pwBPD.
I wish her the best of luck as well. I did tell my fiancé that my ex has a pattern and that there may be some weird stuff directed my way.
First, congratulations, brother, on the coming nuptials and blending your families now.
Thanks Turk!
I'm sure that your fiancée knows about your history and struggles, but hopefully she'll give you grace to be kind to the mother of your children... and hopefully TMOYC will extend respect as well.
That’s a nice sentiment. Thank you.
How are your kids taking the passing of grandma?
I think that they’re coping all right. It hit the oldest D16 the hardest from what I can tell. S14 is autistic and when I asked him he said that it didn’t really affect him he was t that close to his grandmother. I said sometimes it hits you later in it’s normal to not feel anything right away sometimes. I think that is his compartment but that’s fine he’s a sweet kid.
When exuBPDw came to my house to share the news it was around noon. I had told the kids that mom was going to come to share some news with us. He asked what it was and then about 30 minutes later he came to me at home and asked if there was something bad that happened. He said Simone died right? I said wait until your mom arrives.
She told them what happened about an hour after he had asked me. My exuBPDw said to S10 “what did I tell you about other people needing hugs sometimes?” He didn’t really say or react to it, he probably starting processing some of it before she got there and I didn’t like how she made it about herself.
She’s not really good with empathy. I sat beside him and said I’m sorry about the news about Nanny. Its ok if you want to cry and then tears started flowing down his eyes. I told him that if he wants to talk about it he can d he doesn’t want to talk about it that’s fine too.
Mutt, first congratulations my fellow comrade. Second, I truly appreciate what you did here. This is powerful and inspiring, and provides hope to new and old members alike.
Cheers and best wishes Good Sir!
Cheers and thanks! I’m thankful for all of the members here that helped me and that help each other to get through this. There’s a lot of moving parts after a break up, a support network here, support network in real like with family and friends, a T or a P etc. I had to get my depression and anxiety under control and that meant medication, exercise, taking meds for a period for sleep, eating well, lots of self care.
That being said, probably the biggest ingredient that helped me on this path was this board and the members on this board. I’m grateful for all of your help.
