Why my bpdex move on so fast?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I want break-up with my bpd girlfriend ( 14months relationship), but she is crying hard, suicide threat and rejected, then I got her back. Two weeks later, she want break-up with me after lined-up someone behind me. After break-up ,she start a new relationship right away and keep flaunting on social media and look happiness. Why she can move on so fast while I am still grieving ? Is this consider as a rebound relationship?

[juzlikex]

I want break-up with my bpd girlfriend ( 14months relationship), but she is crying hard, suicide threat and rejected, then I got her back. Two weeks later, she want break-up with me after lined-up someone behind me. After break-up ,she start a new relationship right away and keep flaunting on social media and look happiness. Why she can move on so fast while I am still grieving ? Is this consider as a rebound relationship?

[kells76]

Hi juzlikex, welcome to the group.

So sorry for the rollercoaster that you have been through. Suicide threats definitely aren't something that normal people do during a breakup.

It's pretty typical to read on these boards that an ex already had a new relationship lined up, while still in a relationship with you. Doesn't make it OK or feel better, it's just very common.

pwBPD are often driven by extreme, fluctuating emotions, and part of the disorder is that they have a mindset that "Feelings equal facts" -- that is, if they feel something, that means that it's true. For example, let's say a pwBPD feels angry, and then later you walk into the room. If they feel angry, and you are around... well, you must have CAUSED the anger. The feeling drives the creation of a "fact" to justify the feeling.

So, she certainly may look happy -- she is driven by extreme, fluctuating emotions, and may attach the feeling to whoever she is with at the time. And, she likely believes that even feelings and emotions in the moment "are true forever". So, if she has a moment of feeling "amazing" after the breakup, then she believes and communicates "I will be amazingly happy forever now" and it looks like she can move on quickly.

Also, people who do not have personality disorders tend to do a more traditional grieving process that has steps and takes time. pwPDs tend to not have a healthy grieving process.

That all may be the start of an answer to your question, though I'm wondering if even though there's a lot of info here, for you the issue remains -- you feel devastated. Processing how you feel after the end of a relationship with a pwBPD may be the bigger thing for you to work on -- what do you think?

Again, welcome.

kells76