It all happened last week

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi ConfusedCanuck and welcome back. Glad we can be here for you over the years.
Thanks!!

I'm curious, does she accept the bipolar diagnosis? Yes she does.

Does she see the excessive staying in bed as a problem for her?  Oddly she does not see it as a big deal.  She says she is resting.   We bought a cottage last fall (I know that might sound strange considering everything going on)  at at first she liked it there, but now she does not.  Says its boring.  (Its on the water and lots to do, work and play wise).  I have not said "what difference does it make where you lie in bed" but the thought is there.  The cottage has been good for our family as a whole thought, and that is why i wanted to buy it. 


Not sure if you've seen the book I am Not Sick I Don't Need Help!, by Dr. Xavier Amador yet; while he wrote it with a focus on interacting with and getting help for persons with schizophrenia, many of the approaches can help when interacting with a person with impactful issues who doesn't see the issues as issues.
I will take a look at that book thanks.

[ConfusedCanuck]

Hi ConfusedCanuck and welcome back. Glad we can be here for you over the years.
Thanks!!

I'm curious, does she accept the bipolar diagnosis? Yes she does.

Does she see the excessive staying in bed as a problem for her?  Oddly she does not see it as a big deal.  She says she is resting.   We bought a cottage last fall (I know that might sound strange considering everything going on)  at at first she liked it there, but now she does not.  Says its boring.  (Its on the water and lots to do, work and play wise).  I have not said "what difference does it make where you lie in bed" but the thought is there.  The cottage has been good for our family as a whole thought, and that is why i wanted to buy it. 


Not sure if you've seen the book I am Not Sick I Don't Need Help!, by Dr. Xavier Amador yet; while he wrote it with a focus on interacting with and getting help for persons with schizophrenia, many of the approaches can help when interacting with a person with impactful issues who doesn't see the issues as issues.
I will take a look at that book thanks.

[Tangled mangled]

CC
“ what difference does it make where you lie in bed” , you could write a book- on dark humour.

It’s good that you have access to the professionals making all the diagnosis.
Do take care of yourself though- great that you are able to do things that you enjoy/ need

[ConfusedCanuck]

I took a few blurbs from the neurologists report below (the report is very long).

Ms. XXX neuropsychological profile does not meet the criteria for a DSM-5 diagnosis of
neurocognitive disorder but her medical brief, behavioral presentation and self-report were
in keeping with a diagnosis Bipolar I Disorder, current episode depressed, severe, as
evidenced by her history of at least one manic episode and meeting the criteria for a Major
Depressive Episode. Her presentation is also in keeping with her existing diagnosis of
Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I agree with Dr. YYYYY that a diagnosis of Borderline
Personality Disorder does not seem to account for Ms. XXX’s condition. Although intense
episodic dysphoria is one of the diagnostic criteria for BPD, the episodes last only a few days,
whereas Ms. XXX’s depressive episode is persistent.

Ms. XXX exhibits several borderline personality features but does not appear to meet the
full criteria for a diagnosis and several of the features overlap with the bipolar diagnosis. The
noticeable increase in symptoms above baseline during a manic episode is diagnostic of
bipolar disorder.


Ms. XXX exhibits psychomotor slowing and, as per collateral report, completes few ADLs
and IADLs. She experiences a lack of motivation for and interest in activities, and derives
limited pleasure from activities and interactions. Ms. XXX is minimally engaged with children
and struggles to participate in conversations. She spends most of her time in bed.

[ForeverDad]

Bipolar is typically a disorder where the chemical imbalance can be resolved, more or less, with meds.  In past decades Borderline was perceived as untreatable (until DBT and CBT were developed) and hence insurance often denied coverage.  Since Bipolar behaviors are similar to Borderline, getting a diagnosis of Bipolar was a way to get insurance while therapy was attempted.

While Borderline can be moderated somewhat with meds, meds are not a solution, long term therapy applied in one's life and perceptions are the way to go.

I recall that in the final year of my married life my ex would rant and rage then go off and slam a door and sob in a guest room.  So I would feed our toddler/preschooler breakfast and then beg her to get up so I could leave.  She would not come out until after I left for work.  Sometimes I worried how soon she came out after I left.  Once we separated, I never saw that behavior again, it was like a switch was flipped.  That said, to my knowledge my ex was never diagnosed.

As for your case, it's possible she is co-morbid with more than one possible diagnosis.  Of course, we're not doctors here, and remote as well.  We can comment only on our collective experiences.