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Experts share their discoveries [video]
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Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
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Ivan Spielberg, PhD
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Author Topic: Adult child living home  (Read 359 times)
Really now

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 15


« on: November 06, 2022, 07:02:24 PM »

FURY. FATIGUE. FEAR.

I’m furious my life is so hard.

I’m fatigued of trying to turn a corner.

I’m afraid I will live to let this pass only for it to return. AGAIN

LIES. LOSSES. LIARS.

We live in the era of lies.

I’ve had so much loss I no longer want to hold on.

Liars populate every inch of my life.

HATRED. HELLSCAPE. HIGHER POWER

I see hate everything.

This country has become a lowkey hellscape.

No one leans into a higher power, which is the cure for all this.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Sancho
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Posts: 506


« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2022, 02:09:05 AM »

Hi Really Now
Reading posts on this site often take me back to moments in my own journey. I am furious my life is so hard - that brought back quite a few moments when I would be sitting somewhere feeling totally 'done' and thinking 'I hate my life'.

And the worst feeling - or one of the worst feelings, because there are so many 'worst' times - is that 'This is never going to end! I am going to be on this merry go round for the rest of my days!'

Coming here was such a gift. Now what often goes through my head is 'There are people out there, all over the world, who are dealing with a similar situation'. I do feel like I belong to a 'family' of people who know what it means to have a bpd child - something that is up there with the greatest challenges.

Here I read about people who have had to cut off from a loved bpd child, just in order to survive themselves; others reconstruct a life around the challenges that occur on a daily basis.

There is no one 'typical' bpd person and there is not one way of coping. Recently for me it has been tough and I feel like I have just dragged myself through each day - it has all been very dark.

I can feel the darkness lifting a little now. The situation is no different - in fact it looks as though it is getting worse, but I've changed enough to value my own life, to wait out the dark times and to catch a moment in the sun whenever I can.

I think coming here helps me to do this - to survive and find moments of joy in my own existence. I hope you can find the same here . . .
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atthebeginning

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: married
Posts: 7


« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2022, 03:55:09 AM »

I couldn't agree more, Sancho.  This place and everyone on it has saved me from meltdown.  Just knowing that we're all going through similar situations... we're all in it together!
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Really now

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 15


« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2022, 05:19:36 PM »

Hi friends. I’m reading this a month later. The house is quiet. I had arrived at gratitude for platforms like this, and when I read the responses I am now among family.

In the heat of the moment it is hard not to hate life but mostly I can identify the PTSD oozing from my loved one’s mood dysregulation. We have a team of therapists helping us through, and we are improving markedly. Our communication skills are now very good. Sometimes mood still gets away from us, but mostly we know how to keep our lids on.

And looking around at what’s happening in society, at least we are conscious of and responsible for our behaviors. Many aren’t.

I’m glad we raw emotional warriors can touch base here. I have accepted the isolation BPD imposes on “victims”. I am transforming it into a strength. How many people you admire would still be standing if they were facing such frequent undoing?

None.
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kells76
Senior Ambassador
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 2244



« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2022, 02:02:55 PM »

Hi friends. I’m reading this a month later. The house is quiet. I had arrived at gratitude for platforms like this, and when I read the responses I am now among family.

In the heat of the moment it is hard not to hate life but mostly I can identify the PTSD oozing from my loved one’s mood dysregulation. We have a team of therapists helping us through, and we are improving markedly. Our communication skills are now very good. Sometimes mood still gets away from us, but mostly we know how to keep our lids on.

And looking around at what’s happening in society, at least we are conscious of and responsible for our behaviors. Many aren’t.

I’m glad we raw emotional warriors can touch base here. I have accepted the isolation BPD imposes on “victims”. I am transforming it into a strength. How many people you admire would still be standing if they were facing such frequent undoing?

None.

Amazing to hear. You must have put in so much work. I am so glad you get a quiet house right now, and I hope you can find peace and a place to exhale.

I also appreciate your honest assessment that while sometimes the "mood gets away from us", mostly things are better. Not perfect, but better.

Keep us posted on how you've been.
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