My question is about - packaging the disclosure in a more marketable (non-stigmatizing), more appealing way to pwBPD. Anyone has any experience here?
I have experience, and it requires a boatload of work. What I am about to share with you is the exception, not the norm.
In essence using an American football analogy, you are in the 4th quarter, with 1 second left on the clock and are down by six points, from your own 10 yard line and are making a 'hail Mary' pass after the clock expired to the end zone to put the game into overtime with a tied score. The chance of this succeeding in this play is very very small; however, there is a chance. And if you make that play, it ain't over, you have just prolonged the game where you can still loose in overtime.
While my wife [undiagnosed BPD] has made multiple serious threats of divorce; however, she has not followed through on them [as of yet]. It took several months, and an accidental text message our daughter which described the symptoms which she was aware of [physical abuse, 6 suicide attempts, rages, etc.] and our daughter confronted her, she admitted to it, and our daughter thought she was a 'monster' -- in essence she it hit her version of 'bottom' and finally became partially 'self-aware', this was about 3 weeks ago -- there has been dramatic improvement on the symptoms that she is aware of; however, none on the ones that she isn't aware of. The course of our relationship has changed, but, it is still in dangerous waters, and we need to navigate our relationship very intently until we are no longer in danger. We each have individual therapists, we have a couple's therapist, and we also have a different family therapist [4 active] as our aids to navigation and we are moving slowly through an uncharted reef with muddy waters... and I am still in dangerous waters. I will be posting a much longer version of this later on today, I will edit this post with the link, once I have made that post.