Don’t Know What I’m Doing

[Tdawg]

I’m looking to learn more about all of this to be a better partner and spouse. I have felt like I’m crazy and an awful person for the one year of our marriage that we just celebrated the other day. I feel like nothing I do is ever correct yet I’m told I’m the best thing she’s ever had and am the most amazing husband ever. It has been such an emotional rollercoaster with a deep depression wondering what I have done so wrong.

I want to better understand how I can show up for my wife and get some support now that I’m learning there’s more to things than I ever knew.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pursuingJoy]

Welcome  we're glad you're here.

The rollercoaster is unsettling and destabilizing. I felt so upside down after dealing with my BPD person for years before realizing what was happening. Finding ways to stabilize and develop my core has been the most helpful thing for me. Posting here, counseling, reading books about BPD and family systems, and supportive friends are all ways to establish a firm foundation.

Does your wife have an official diagnosis? How did you find out about BPD?

[Jabiru]

Hi and welcome Is your wife diagnosed with BPD? What signs have you noticed?

You've likely realized it doesn't work like a normal relationship. Check out the Tips menu at the top of the page for some helpful articles. I also recommend the books Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist and Stop Walking on Eggshells for an in depth look at the disorder and how you can support your loved one in the right way while also taking care of yourself.