..."But all in all, I realized that my fear of new experiences and emotions is holding me down and in part making me accept crapfits in relationships. And makes me ruminate so much. I've already started working with it by listing fairly mundane things that interest yet intimidate me. I feel so relieved already..."
Overcoming any fear is typically done in "small steps". I also learned that dealing with even greater fears, dimished many other less-intimidating ones. I was afraid of heights so I jumped from airplanes. I feared drowning in the open ocean, so I learned to swim long distance. I didn't like being around firearms so I bought several, studied firearm safety, practiced for hundreds of hours at the range, and now it's my hobby.
Making a list is a great start. What's your next step?
All the Best
I started by doing everyday things differently and sort of... more. For example, if I'm afraid my coworkers will be talking about things that I find uninteresting during lunch, I still sit with them instead of being by myself. I know getting to know them at the start is good for me, even if I feel awkward listening to many of their everyday topics.