New here

[farmgirl8630]

My mother has all symptoms of BPD.  I broke things off from her for a few years.  Within the last year I have been talking to and visiting her some.  She continually uses my daughter to "get at me".  example: she babysits my granddaughter all the time and tells DD not to trust me to babysit.  She is always doing things to try to make me mad.  Christmas eve she really wanted my x-husband to come to her house for Christmas Eve.  My mom and daughter both knew I did not want him there...only because my daughter and X decided I could not go to their house Christmas morning to watch my granddaughter open gifts.  I told myself if he is there, I'm not saying anything, just leaving.  I chose not to do that instead when in and acted like no big deal when inside my heart was broken (because of what my daughter did)  I'm probabally going to have to go back to not talking to or seeing my 75year old mother.

Thanks for adding me!

[Tortuga50550]

Hi farmgirl8630,
I'm sorry that you passed such a bad Christmas Eve. It mustn't be easy to have your BPD mother manipulate your relationship with your daughter in that way. Has she always done that, or is this recently?
I hope you find the other posts helpful. You're defenetly not the only one in a similar situation.
Welcom to the club!

[farmgirl8630]

Definitely not the first time.  Four years ago it started to get really bad, when my daughter was 13.  Every time my daughter was with my mom she talked bad about me the whole time.  My parents lived with us in our basement apartment for 8 years.  (fun times)  I was diagnosed with ADHD and started meds.  Low and behold I was able to stand up for myself when she was doing something crazy.  She was telling me how to parent, I told her they are my kids and I will not allow her to tell me how to parent in my house.  She exploded they ended up moving out.  This was the time that my counselor pointed out symptoms of BPD.

[SinisterComplex]

Farmgirl welcome to the fam.  . Happy you found us, but of course sorry for the circumstances that led to you having to seek us out.

With that said...as you can see we have a very welcoming community. We get it here. Please continue to vent and share as much as you need to.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-