BPD mom... A revelation

[HayleyM]

Thanks to a close friend who loaned me the book " Stop Walking on Eggshells," I came to the sudden realization that my emotionally chaotic childhood stems from my mother having BPD. Holy... and all this time, I thought it was me... Needless to say, that revelation has led to a cascade of emotions, from relief (OK so.. It' actually WASN'T me, it was her!) to sadness (I did not have nor will ever have unconditional love from my mother) to anger, which needs no explanation. This is my first post. Thanks for listening.

[zachira]

You are not alone in feeling a cascade of emotions upon realizing you were not at fault because your mother has BPD. My mother with BPD is deceased. There are many members with mothers with BPD who are here to listen and support you.

[Tortuga50550]

It's quite normal honestly that you feel that way. It's one of the biggest revelations you recieve, when you finally are able to put a word on what's happening. And from my experience, it's very likely you're going to be tumbling bettween all those feelings for sometime, till you grieve your loss.
But don't worry, you're not alone on this. Welcome to the family!

[cle216]

Welcome HaleyM! The person with BPD in my life is also my mother. It is quite an emotional experience reframing your experiences and accepting that a parent can operate in this way. If reading helps you or you ever feel ready to explore more I read the book Understanding the Borderline Mother by Christine Lawson. It was heavy for me but learning and processing this way I've also found to be helpful.