I'm new here so I'll try to make this quick. Over the past few months I've noticed a significant decline in my wife (we've been together 11 years). She's been increasingly distant, secretive with her phone, improving her appearance, conflictual with me. When I called her out on it things naturally got worse and she said I was controlling. She also started talking about threesomes and open marriages as I have a friend with an open marriage. She's recently made some new friends at her new workplace and a mutual friend (consequently my wife's best friend) confided in me that there was cause for concern which just further escalated things and created a dysfunctional triangle. Since finding out I should be concerned I did overstep boundaries but she also lied about her whereabouts and made me feel like I did something wrong. Now we can't communicate and are taking space. She feels judged and betrayed but is just lashing out. She won't take her meds and is refusing therapy. I am genuinely worried and love her but don't know where to go from here.
So she came home today and we had a pretty calm discussion. However, the discussion centered around how she doesn't feel independent and needs more space and freedom...like maybe an open marriage. This is something I am unsure I can live with particularly since she doesn't agree with any of my terms about it...if I were to even consider it. She did agree to marriage counseling at least but while we were talking she said she had plans, got ready and left. Came back an hour later and went to bed. It was 6pm. I'm trying to be empathetic, supportive and give her space but it can be very difficult at times. The SET method worked wonders during our talk today.
