if I get a restraining order he rip it up.
I'm not qualified to give legal advise so I won't.
What I can advise is that you look into the particulars of restraining orders or protective orders in your state and find out what options of legal recourse are available to pursue upon someone who violates said order. In my state, violating a PFA is serious business and is definitely worth phoning the cops over, they will remove the person from your proximity and that person will face consequences. Your state/region/jurisdiction may be different.
I will beg of you to take DV very seriously, especially when it comes to emotionally unstable, often explosive individuals who act impulsively. Things can go from a slap to closed fists to a butcher knife very fast (speaking from experience) and I can't stress enough how important it can be to have an escape route planned and I keep a bag of clothes and personal items in my truck and know my nearest exits at all times like a fire drill. I have had to, unfortunately, drill the kids on what to do as well if things get off the hook.
If you even suspect an episode will escalate to violence, please evacuate and go to the police if need be. I used to be terrified of filing a report to the police because I'm a man and we're still heavily seen as the aggressors in some places but thankfully not here. You have nothing to be ashamed of in asking for help from the law to protect you and sometimes, it's exactly what's needed to ensure your safety.
