Step-daughter

[barrysib]

  I am having issues with my step-daughter, and the mother of my grandchildren (2). I will do my best to synthesize my issue. I recently sent an email to my grandson's teacher, complimenting her on how she has impacted my grandson positively. The teacher responded so favorably. A few days ago, I received an angry phone response from my stepdaughter exclaiming: "I told you not to contact my child's teacher!" Without going into detail, she did not explicitly state that. When I inquired why this contact was a problem, she refused to discuss it, basically sticking to her demand. I responded by eventually apologizing (I did not know what else to do). Right now, as far as I am concerned, she is persona non grata. I am a retired Psychology professor, and the thought just came to me, my 40-year step-daughter may have BPD. I would be happy to provide additional information. I would be grateful for any comments/responses: thank you.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[GaGrl]

How long has she been your step-daughter? Has there been previous behaviors that lead you to believe she is uBPD?

[barrysib]

I have known my step-daughter since she was 8-years old. I married her mother when she was 14. She is now 40, so I have known her for almost 32-years. I acknowledge making some parenting mistakes as a stepfather (no physical or emotional abuse). She recently lashed out at my for something that really had nothing to do with her. Her statement to me which makes me believe that she has BPD was: "Several people treated me badly when I was growing up, and you are one of them." My response was to apologize for any mistakes, and that if I could go back and correct these mistakes I would. Your thoughts?