Hi Winterberry;
I'm so sorry you're going through this with your partner right now. That sounds deeply stressful for both of you. I think I hear you just wanting to help and be supportive, yet even though you've tried being positive and reassuring, he says those aren't helpful.
One un-intuitive aspect of someone feeling suicidal is that sometimes (it depends on the situation) they really want to be understood.
Suicidal ideation doesn't happen because the person forgot about the good parts of life. Often, people with suicidal thoughts, instead of wanting to be told "but life is actually so good", would like someone to understand how hopeless they feel.
It can be inadvertently invalidating to tell someone with suicidal thoughts "but you have so much to live for" or "why not look on the bright side instead".
I wonder how it would go to try, instead of being positive and reassuring, to validate how he is feeling, without trying to do any "reminders" or "pick-me-ups"?
...
So in the past, maybe it went like:
Him: I just want to die. I don't want to be alive any more. It's all too much.
You: Babe, I get it, but there's so much more to life if you can just make it through -- I believe in you!
...
Now, maybe it could go more like:
Him: I just want to die. I don't want to be alive any more. It's all too much.
You: You must be overwhelmed. Anyone in your position could feel that way. It does sounds like too much.
...
What do you think?
...
In the meantime, we do have a
suicidal ideation protocol here on site; plus, you could check out the
Lifeline site for more resources.
Keep us posted on how you two are doing;
kells76