Looking for support

[Ruby Slippers 2]

Hi!

I’m new here! I’m 63 and I’ve been in a relationship for the better part of eight years. My partner and I recently got married. I was OK with formalizing our relationship because I felt I knew what to expect from him. However, after eight long years, the hateful BPD behavior tripled in intensity and frequency when we got married. It was a lot easier to manage when I had periods of recovery, but now I barely recover from an episode before another one occurs. In this forum, I  hope to learn strategies for maintaining my mental health and sense of self throughout the vicissitudes of my partner’s BPD. Any thoughts?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

Welcome    Sorry you’re here, but glad you’ve found us. First take a look at the Tools at the top of this page.

In the eight years you’ve been together, you certainly got a taste of BPD, but now that you’re married, you have a banquet! That’s typical, as BPD is a disorder of intimacy and now you entered into a marriage contract, the level of intimacy has increased.

Before marriage, were you living together? Combining funds and incomes?

I’d suggest that you continue to do things you did as a single person, having outside activities and interests. And keep your finances separate.

Having good boundaries is a necessity in a BPD relationship.

Meanwhile tell us more of the issues that are arising.

[SinisterComplex]

Hi!

I’m new here! I’m 63 and I’ve been in a relationship for the better part of eight years. My partner and I recently got married. I was OK with formalizing our relationship because I felt I knew what to expect from him. However, after eight long years, the hateful BPD behavior tripled in intensity and frequency when we got married. It was a lot easier to manage when I had periods of recovery, but now I barely recover from an episode before another one occurs. In this forum, I  hope to learn strategies for maintaining my mental health and sense of self throughout the vicissitudes of my partner’s BPD. Any thoughts?

Ruby, I welcome you to the fam as well.  To make things easier for you I suggest checking out these links to help you with some resources

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=45.0

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=36.0

In the meantime, truly please be kind to you and take care of yourself. We have your back here.

Cheers and Best Wishes!

-SC-