Feeling good after feeling angry

[Zabava]

Y

[Notwendy]

I think it makes sense. We feel what we feel. For me, it's a mix of several feelings. There's nothing wrong with a "feeling" - we feel what we feel.

[Methuen]

I can relate.  I think it’s only dawned on me this past year how narcissistic my mom is.  They don’t consider our needs as much as their own.

I think it’s natural to resent them , which is why we must learn to parent ourselves, and practice self care”.  (But don’t tell them this or it’ll be adding fuel to the fire).

It’s about learning to set boundaries, which is a really difficult thing to do with a mother, but we have to do it for ourselves.

[Sappho11]

This might be the laziest intro post ever, but I assume this relates to BPD feeling relieved after one of their attacks.

On a chemical level, BPD is down to a hormonal imbalance in the brain. That's why it takes 1-2 hours to blow over. After that, levels of certain neurotransmitters normalise.

On an anecdotal level, it seems this process is accelerated by evoking an emotional response in their conversation partner. Any relative/spouse/partner of a BPD has been at the receiving end of this and will know what I mean. As soon as the BPD has sufficiently torn you down, they're appeased and calm, even happy.

I suppose this is due to their abandonment fears deactivating in a dysfunctional way: "They [read: you] are having an extreme reaction like I do, that must mean they care about me."

[HerOwnReality]

.

On an anecdotal level, it seems this process is accelerated by evoking an emotional response in their conversation partner. Any relative/spouse/partner of a BPD has been at the receiving end of this and will know what I mean. As soon as the BPD has sufficiently torn you down, they're appeased and calm, even happy.

I suppose this is due to their abandonment fears deactivating in a dysfunctional way: "They [read: you] are having an extreme reaction like I do, that must mean they care about me."

OMG this is exactly what just happened to me yesterday on the phone with my sister - especially with her being "appeased and calm, even happy" after I started expressing some (angry) emotion. It made me feel like the "crazy" one.