So difficult

[Daynow]

My so splits at least once a day with me.   I can't leave him as I am the breadwinner and I can't work and be a single mom. I have  broken finger which makes me dependent. He just insisted I take the garbage out which I did but I have a hand in a sling!

[Daynow]

I have read the essential guide which is very helpful but it's hard as it happens at the least predictable time
 I get treated like garbage. My poor child I need to learn how to minimize damage to him. Loved his dad so. I'm responsible for everything. I take good care of them but qoshvhe was the mb I needed when I marribim and had his child.
I need hopes d I need support
 

[ForeverDad]

  One step at a time.  As they say, Rome wasn't built in a day.

One thought to get comfortable with is that you are both adults.  You both made choices in the past.  You both can still make choices.

For example, why are you working and supporting the family but he isn't?  Is it his choice (or excuse) not to do at least some effort at an income?  He's an adult after all.

Yes, we here have "been there, done that".  Of course the problems arise at the least predictable time.  It's not accidental that you're caught off guard.  I call it "predictably unpredictable".  People with BPD (or more simply, problem people) seem to have had their whole lives to learn how to be masters of Blaming and Blame Shifting.

Keep on sharing and little by little we here in remote peer support can enlarge your knowledge and insight into improving your life.

[Daynow]

Thank you for your reply. Hubby does child care so I can work shift workin health care.

My schedule has been unpredictable since my mat leave ended. He offered to get work after I broke my  finger but I need him to care for our son. Also nowhere for him to go unless I sell my home a move into a condo which would be impossible and conflict ridden. It's not that easy.

For now that is the situation.

[ForeverDad]

Day care.

Likely the cost of daycare is much less than what your husband can earn.

An added benefit is that children can learn to play with the other children and gain social skills.  And many daycare facilities are located near schools so that when the children are older they can easily be transported back and forth to school.

My son aged out of the daycare environment by the time he was 12 years old so that arrangement worked from before preschool through elementary school.

[Daynow]

We are on every wait list. I'm isolated and being faced with doubt in the do called support community?

[livednlearned]

Do you feel comfortable sharing what happens when he splits?

It's tough when kids are involved and even harder when your own health is compromised.

He doesn't work?

[ForeverDad]

If you work in healthcare then you're on a waitlist even there for daycare support?