Misleading Signals

[CandyEatPPL]

Me 30M and bpd 29F, went out for about a month, she was open in the start that she wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship and wanted to take it slow. 2 weeks ago she told me she couldn’t do it, we should stay friends and I need to move on. I agreed. From that point she would text me sparingly. Unless it’s days we work together, then she would text me more frequently and seek me out. We would drive around on break and she would hold my hand. She also says things like she thinks about me at night, we should wear matching fleece, and we should watch a movie together. I’m confused, does she want us to be friends or not? Because in person she warm, friendly, and seems interested in me. But over text she will be very brief and cold. Anyone can provide insight?

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[SaltyDawg]

CandyEatPPL,

   Welcome to BPD Family.  We are here to listen to you, and offer you emotional support.

   It sounds like your girlfriend is conflicted.  From what you describe, you work together, and in some companies that is frowned upon to have a romantic relationship.  However, you also describe she has quite a bit of limmerance with the hand-holding, and expression of thoughts spending time together and wearing matching outfits.  At the moment I cannot provide any specific insight to your situation; however, it does sound like there is a possibility that there might be something like borderline there, or something else.  If you provide more information, or you are interested in an assessment tool, let us know, and we can talk more about it.

   Be sure to take care with self-care whatever that looks like for you.

Take care.

SD