>Hello, summary of my situation

[BlossomGirl]

Hello everyone

I am a newbie here

My situation is a little different on here

I am dealing a cyberstaljer for 20 years who has all the traits of a person with a person with borderline personality disorder.

This person has done everything in her power to destroy the enjoyment of my life on the internet

I am a person with many hobbies, and my favourite is birdwatching

My stalker spends all of her time causing me to be banned from Forums because of my rejection of her.
At the end of the day, she wants us to be friends and to be this is never going to happen at all
She lies about herself, myself and cannot tell the truth about anything. 

Each time I reject her I. Get a torrent if abuse on my birding Forums and people abuse me because she brain washes them.in believing ai have done some harm to her.

I am at a loss to know what to do because I know in my mind she will never leave me alone until the day I die

[Pook075]

Hey Blossom and welcome to the forum!  This situation is quite different that the typical experiences we see here, but it is also very much the same in the behaviors.

If I'm reading this right, someone you've known for 20 years is bullying you on the internet.  But you know who this person is as well since you've rejected here many, many times.  Have you dated in the past...or were you friends?

It may seem hard, or even impossible to set healthy boundaries with someone who's your 'enemy'.  It is just like every other relationship though where you have a few paths to defend yourself.

The first path would be to stop rejecting her.  It serves no purpose to treat her poorly, especially when you know that she's going to lash out afterwards.  So why keep doing that?  Why can't you treat her with respect and find a mutual understanding between you?

I can imagine you'll say that I don't understand, that she's a bad person and a liar, etc.  Fair enough.  But you're choosing to 'poke the bear' and then you wonder why the bear becomes angry. So stop poking the bear!  Find common ground and better communication to stop the cyber bullying.

The second path would be using the legal system to your advantage.  Call the police and take out a restraining order against her.  Report her on the forums as well and calmly explain the situation.  If needed, sue her in civil court for defamation...or at least have an attorney send a letter threatening it.

This is the opposite of 'not poking the bear' and her initial reaction will be extreme.  But maybe she'll see that some boundaries can't be crossed and backs off.  Or maybe she escalates things even further.  It's an option either way though.

I hope that helps!

[SaltyDawg]

BlossomGirl,

   That sounds terrible and frightening.

   On which platform(s) is she on where she harasses you?  All of the major platforms have tools where you can block your stalker from seeing your posts.  If you know which profile(s) she uses, when you join the forum, let the moderator know of your situation, if you see her there.  If you let me know which platform(s) you are on, I will look up the procedure for each to block them  (blocking is both ways, you won't be able to see their posts either, unless you sign on with a fake account). 

   Also, do not engage your stalker, ignore them.  If someone questions you on something she is accusing you of, simply state, "not true" if it is publicly posted.  You can send a private message to the moderator and/or person questioning explaining your situation in B.I.F.F. (Brief Informational Factual and Friendly).  If you bicker back and forth, that will likely get you banned.

   Does this stalking extend beyond  social media / forums?  If so, it could be illegal.  A google search on "how to block a cyberstalker" would likely be of benefit.

   Also scan your devices / computers for malware where she can spy on you.  If you need pointers on this, let me know, I would need to know your device type and OS.

   I know you didn't ask for this, and she sounds like a very serious nuisance, so you need to take a pro-active approach at blocking her.

   I know this can be overwhelming at times.  Please be sure to take care of yourself with self-care.

   Take care.

SD