I was in a relationship with a girl that was diagnosed with BPD. After the initial love-bombing things got incredibly bad. She was lying to me, taking guys numbers, doing drugs all the time and eventually I found she was cheating on me. I ended things but about a year ago I succumbed to a charm.
Initially it was just sex and I thought I could keep it that way but I ended up getting sucked back in. I had a really hard time trusting her and this wasn't helped by the fact that she was still in contact with a previous ex and on one occasion met up with him. After she had a major falling out with her best friend, this December my number was passed to him and he messaged me to say that he had been sleeping with her up to that point, as well as numerous other people and that he had heard I was being abusive towards her. I believed her when she said he was just a jealous ex trying to stir trouble.
Things were okay after, although pointless arguments were all too frequent. But the past couple of weeks the sex completely dried up. I suspected this was the start of devaluation but she told me the issues were to do with her not feeling secure, me not making enough effort and that she loved me and things would return to normal.
I then found out she had been texting and sleeping with someone else. I feel utterly stupid. As this has happened before I only have my self to blame but despite some issues I just did not see this come. I have Chlamydia. I feel so angry and confused even though I know the score with this disorder. Our lives had become so entwined and our future planned out and now I feel completely dejected and lost and unable to move on. The jealousy and hurt are overwhelming. I also don't know whether to contact the ex to let him know. He was being kept on the back burner throughout and may be at risk too.
