First time posting. Adult daughter with bpd

[Suek]

My 42 year old daughter is living with BPD. I love her so much but feel so helpless. Her life is spiralling out of control. She has lost her job and her car. She is showing signs of mania and using prescription meds for ADHD which I believe are fuelling the mania. She is isolated because she has alienated her friends and family. She has burned every bridge she has ever had. She is lonely and sad. It breaks my heart.
When my husband and I visited her yesterday at her request to drive her around to do errands, she verbally attacked me when we were alone yet again. Being with her is truly like a trip to Oz. She is alternately angry at me or clinging to me.
She doesn’t believe that she is mentally ill but believes and tries to convince others that she has autism and ADHD.
Her life is chaos and anyone who interacts with her gets drawn into the storm.
I know that only she can come to the realization that she needs help.
It’s just so heartbreaking. ❤️‍

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi Suek
It is unbelievably painful seeing our adult children in this state - and worse still when we are so powerless to do things. I am in a similar situation with dd aged 33.

My dd has recycled 'friends' - the latest being a fellow she was in a domestic violence relationship with, who wrecked 3 cars and is into strong drugs. I can't describe the feeling I had last week when I realised that the state her current car was in was due to this chap's 'helpful' mechanical work!

Here we go again.

But this week it looks as though it might be over with him already - who knows.

Sounds like you are the target of blame too. This makes it so difficult if not impossible to support a BPD adult child.

Your dd knows that something is not right. Do you know how she has come to think she has ADHD and autism? Also how is she getting meds for ADHD? Has she had a formal diagnosis?

These conditions can co - exist with BPD. My dd was diagnosed with BPD as a young adult and I wasn't present when she was given the diagnosis. I am sure she also has ADHD and dyslexia. It is worrying if your dd does not have ADHD and is being given medication for this condition that's for sure.

BPD has a range of symptoms that are different to the other conditions -such as blaming others - particularly the main care person in their life - and the signs of frantically trying to avoid abandonment.

We live with sadness and grieving every day for our BPD children. Coming here helps me because I feel less alone. When I read your post, I knew someone else knew the pain of this awful condition. I hope you are able to feel some comfort in knowing you are not alone too.