Hello RubyC@t22 and a warm welcome to the site
Comorbid mental health issues can be so challenging. I'm sorry that BPD plus depression have impacted your marriage so severely.
It's OK to share as much or as little as you're comfortable with. We'll work with what you share, and while we may ask more questions for more details, it's up to you to decide what's OK with you.
I do have a few questions if you're comfortable answering them -- just to get a better picture of your situation:
how long have you been married? Do you share any children, or have any of your own (I hear he has one S16)?
Did your H receive the BPD diagnosis before or after you married? As far as you know, how did he take the diagnosis (accepting of it, in denial, relieved, angry...)? Does he also have a diagnosis for depression?
Have you been in any individual counseling for yourself? This is really difficult stuff.
...
It's good that you realize this:
I know there are tools and boundaries I can set to ensure I don't exhaust myself when he is painted me black. Anyone else have a similar situation or some suggestions? I know this is very vague, but I am just looking for any information I can find at this time. TIA
We can't rely on pwBPD (persons with BPD) to provide reliable, nondistorted, predictable, rational support for us -- how could they, when the disorder impairs their ability to manage their own emotions healthily? So it's great to hear that you are interested in taking care of your own energy levels and managing your own feelings when he dysregulates.
When you have a moment, take a look at our workshop on
What does it mean to take care of yourself? -- what stands out to you, or seems do-able?
Fill us in, whenever works best for you;
kells76
