disappointed

[BPDstinks]

My BPD woes are at an all time low...yesterday was my bday, not ONE peep from BPD (again, she at least texted last year) i am beginning to think NOTHING i do is EVER going to cause this "fantasy" re-connection I have in my mind.  I am blessed with many people and had a great day, however, i waited all day for what I don't even know; my Jesus Take The Wheel approach isn't doing much

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[CopperLeaves]

Hi, BPDstinks, so sorry to read this. It really bites and is a hard thing to feel and share with folks around you.

A belated happy birthday to you from me and mine. Sending support.

Copper x

[BPDstinks]

thank you!  yes...I feel like WHEN i tell people they feel "sorry" and it is awkward OR they reflect and say "I don't know what I would do...(no, you would NOT!) well...i had (remaining! ) family and many friends and i am most grateful for what I DO have (and trying not to dwell on what I do NOT!)

[Sancho]

Your last sentence is well said BPDstinks. Especially when these circumstances are not just disappointing - they are heart breaking.

Your strength is holding you through it all . . .

[BPDstinks]

thank you!  I kept waiting (and waiting!) still nothing (than i find out, she texted my MOTHER, (I miss you) (this all makes ZERO sense, she avoided my mother for years), i am not only disappointed, I am baffled!

[MostlyOkay]

My heart hurts for you.  Your feelings of sadness and loss are completely legitimate.  I hope you'll allow yourself to sit with the sadness, and grieve the loss of the relationship you want to have. 

[BPDstinks]

thank you for your kind words...oh, believe me, I have come to terms!  On BPD's birthday, I was PARALYZED with sadness; I just did not know what to DO (back story, I struggled immensely with Covid & ended up clinically depressed, I have worked VERY hard to "get it together" (about 80 percent there) and i simply refuse to back track, so...on that day, I joined a gym & returned to Weight Watchers; I would by lying if I said I do not hope one day she will just magically re-appear, but...I am very cautious.  I am not mad, I have no bad feelings, I feel very sorry FOR her, however, I am not falling into the trap that I caused it!  (huge steps for me!) but...this BPD is really a MESS!