Zachira,
I'm frustrated, sad, and still at a loss because I feel so trapped by my own values.
I can relate. I am constantly feeling I am in conflict too. There is the idea of what I am expected to do for her and - I fall short of that expectation constantly. I can not possibly do "enough" for her and also I keep a distance from her which isn't the image of what I wish things were. I can't achieve that ideal. There's the sense of failure.
Being that I can't do enough to gain my parents' approval, maybe I'm afraid to disappoint God.
Our parents influence our concept of God and so our values. We talk about this in 12 steps. If our parents didn't role model grace and forgiveness, we may not be able to perceive that with others or our values or idea of God. When others ask me about my mother, I assume they are blaming me for the issues like she does.
If we can't "get it right" with our parents, maybe we feel we have to somehow get it right with our values?
