Undiagnosed Brother

[Freddie55]

My older brother has most of the BPD symptoms but has never been diagnosed.  In his 50's now, there have been many examples over the years, particularly with the explosive temper, accompanied by denial that he has an issue.   Two divorces, lives alone... Its all justified in his head, and the rest of the world is where the problem lies.   How do I (or we, our folks are still around and they're very aware) convince him to get help?  I'd guess any suggestion to that end would set him off.  I don't think he's ever been told he has BPD.  HELP!!!

[Strawberry29]

Hi freddie, sorry to hear about your story!

I am not an "expert" like many of the people on this site that you will probably find more helpful than me, but my 5 C: your brother will never seek treatment because you told him to do so. I have always been told not to mention a specific disease if it's not been diagnosed by a professional, and generally telling him to seek help only serves the purpose of starting a fight. Some in our family have tried to convince him several times, and to no avail. The only thing that succeeded in convincing him was when his GF dumped him. I suppose banging you head against something often teaches you better than anything else.
Though from what you say about the 2 failed marriages, your brother might be different. Has anybody ever mentioned to him that he might need professional help?

[Freddie55]

I'm sure his ex wives asked him too, and he may have, a little.  I'm not sure.  But it continues to be an issue in our family.  I feel like he needs to hear it and no one but me is willing to say anything about it.  But agreed, telling him to get help will likely not go over well.  UGH.