Where do I even begin?

[Garlic70]

I broke up with my ex with BPD June of 2023. I have tried letting time heal this wound but here I am, still ruminating about her and mourning the loss of our 8 year relationship. She immediately moved on and I am left here broken. Crying spells and bouts of rage come and go in my life and while this hasn't impacted my work or social life, its not something I want. I tried moving on like she has but it just didn't feel right and every time I was with someone else, my ex would pop into my mind. I tried going to therapy but I don't feel like my therapist really addressed my issues or understood how badly BPD messes you up.

Where can I find a therapist who can specifically help someone like me who has been through the BPD roller coaster?
Going on psychology today doesn't really help because of the vast amount of therapists. I feel like I need someone who has experience with this issue.   

[kells76]

Hi Garlic70;

As odd as it sounds, you could consider contacting a local DBT clinic, explaining your situation (that you don't have BPD but are processing the end of a relationship with a pwBPD), and asking for either an external recommendation, or if they're willing to see you as a client.

Even if your city/town/location doesn't have a DBT clinic, maybe find a larger city in your state/province, and call them up. It's possible that they could provide telehealth services (if you're OK with remote sessions).

Have you officially ended things with your current therapist yet?

[Garlic70]

Hi Garlic70;

As odd as it sounds, you could consider contacting a local DBT clinic, explaining your situation (that you don't have BPD but are processing the end of a relationship with a pwBPD), and asking for either an external recommendation, or if they're willing to see you as a client.

Even if your city/town/location doesn't have a DBT clinic, maybe find a larger city in your state/province, and call them up. It's possible that they could provide telehealth services (if you're OK with remote sessions).

Have you officially ended things with your current therapist yet?

I stopped going to my therapist about a month ago. I will try that suggestion. I shouldn't be mourning this much over someone who wasn't good to me. Thanks for the advice

[jaded7]

I broke up with my ex with BPD June of 2023. I have tried letting time heal this wound but here I am, still ruminating about her and mourning the loss of our 8 year relationship. She immediately moved on and I am left here broken. Crying spells and bouts of rage come and go in my life and while this hasn't impacted my work or social life, its not something I want. I tried moving on like she has but it just didn't feel right and every time I was with someone else, my ex would pop into my mind. I tried going to therapy but I don't feel like my therapist really addressed my issues or understood how badly BPD messes you up.

Where can I find a therapist who can specifically help someone like me who has been through the BPD roller coaster?
Going on psychology today doesn't really help because of the vast amount of therapists. I feel like I need someone who has experience with this issue.   

Garlic, I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Many of us find it hard to move beyond these relationships, myself included. It's really frustrating and painful, I know. I have a therapist here in my town who specializes in NPD/BPD relationship recovery, and I know she does Telehealth visits. I would be happy to give you her name. There are many other specialist therapists out there too.

When the suffering holds on this long, there may be something deeper going on in terms of attachment, or previous abuse. Certainly that is the case with me.

Kells gives a good suggestion. The DBT clinics interact with many friends and family members. I bet they have some good suggestions.