The divorce is final. Your lawyer can advise you on the specifics of your state and local court's typical process and time frames if changes to the order need to be made.
That said, courts are reluctant to have custody and parenting schedules jump back and forth. Court is overwhelmed already with their existing caseload and lawyers are expensive. The court will not expect you two back for a while except for somewhat less major items like Contempt of Court petitions and the like. In other words, as Lived&Learned calls them, parking tickets.
![Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post)](https://www.bpdfamily.com/message_board/Smileys/default/bpdfamil-20.png)
If your spouse would like to make major changes, that would require filing for a
Change of Circumstances motion. That would *not* include her rebounding back after her current new relationship goes sour. There would have to be a real basis for a change. More or less, all you have to do is weather any such storm.
After two years in a temp order as alternate weekend dad, I exited divorce with shared custody and equal time.
Two years and a couple frustrating contempt of court petitions later, I told my lawyer life was still not improved from before and it was time to file for custody and majority time...
Change of Circumstances. I did get custody but our GAL (Guardian ad Litem, child's lawyer) "split the difference" and wanted ex to keep possibility of child support. I went back again
a couple years later and did get majority parenting time.
Based on my experience - your experience may vary - I suspect you're safe with the current framework for a year or two, perhaps longer.
In my opinion there is no way this lasts but I will take the peace for now.
Yes, she was distracted by another adult relationship, as sad as that sounds it was fortunate for you since the divorce was not a great hurdle. It could have been worse, longer and more expensive. There is no way to predict how long her new target lasts, but it will still be dysfunctional unless she is determined to do meaningful therapy and diligently apply it in her thinking, perceptions and overall life.
What happens next? She loses it on the next guy and comes after me or will she be civil? No contact except about the kids, take her limited time and leave me alone?
Again, hard to predict. But it seems she's more focused on her adult relationships and less focused on the kids. That may continue to be her pattern. Some parents, whether fathers or mothers, are like that. If that is her level of priorities - her comfort zone - let her remain an alternate weekend parent.
Do not feel *obligated* (overly "fair") to Gift her extra, although with the strong position you're in now you can let her have some exceptions here and there. The kids need you to be their primary parent. Any time you're in doubt, just remind yourself that the kids' welfare comes first.
The marriage is ended. It is what it is. Technically, you now have no relationship with her except regarding custodial and parenting matters. So yes, she should leave you alone. The only link is limited to the children.