Hello Yara and a warm
I really hear you about wanting your partner to get help. I think all of us here at bpdfamily want that for the pwBPD (person/people with BPD) in our lives. The world would truly be a better place!
One difficult thing about a condition like BPD is that pwBPD (like any of us) choose to get help for things that
they think are problems, not things that
we think are problems.
If they experience the situation as "them versus us", where we are pressuring them to get help, they might resist. Ultimatums and threats generally are not effective in inducing someone to get help.
What has a slightly better chance at success is understanding what
your partner thinks the problem is, and finding a way to come together as a team to face that problem. If he feels like you are on his side, there's a little more hope.
We have a great article about that situation here:
Anosognosia and Getting a "Borderline" into Therapy, take a look when you have some time.
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The other critical thing about being in a relationship with a pwBPD is understanding what we can and can't control. We
can't control anyone else or make anyone do anything, even really good things like stopping verbal insults and accusations.
What we can do is learn more about
real boundaries and values. Sometimes we think that boundaries are about making other people do things, or rules for other people about how they can treat us, when really, true boundaries are rules we have for ourselves. Getting educated about real boundaries can help us respect ourselves and choose who and what to let into our lives.
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hi dears,
i am in a relationship with a loving, caring, honest person with BD and this is since one year.
i started facing some traits in the beginning and we dealt some of them, he is responsive but not aware of having thee BD.
Does he have a diagnosis but just isn't accepting of it? Or is he undiagnosed?
