My husband is a high achiever. Throughout our marriage he has had bizarre outbursts that are ugly and hurtful. He masks his pain with alcohol. I am finally feeling like I have no more to give because every promise he makes ends up back to these situations that detail my confidence and trust. At least I understand it a bit more now. At times I have literally felt like I was losing my mind.
It's good to begin to have some understanding Cleowyn. It's really eye-opening to read these boards and realize that you are not crazy, you aren't alone, and that many others have experienced things you have.
Keep reading, it helps.
The sensation of losing your mind is so common, as you'll see it's due to the cognitive dissonance of trying to piece things together that make no sense, and very often the gaslighting that makes you doubt your reality. It's super confusing and painful that we can't seem to make our partners understand what they are saying or accusing us of makes no sense. To say nothing of the pain their accusations cause us directly.
Glad you are finding some clarity!
