when youre trying to commit to a break up, you need walls as high as you need to achieve it.
if that includes some contact (which is often necessary) then you want to control the nature of it; keep it limited. avoid relationship talk, or talk about "us". avoid mixed messages or sending her hope.
there are often a lot of logistics to take care of. this is usually a main reason for continued contact after a breakup.
our exes, like us, often struggle with post break up boundaries, so logistical stuff can be a challenge if say, it prompts our exes to cling or try to win us back. the person on the receiving end of the breakup often will. that can be challenging, and if youre committed to the breakup, youll not only need to navigate it if it happens, but you may need to protect yourself from it if weakens your resolve.
Whenever I see a text from her my heart starts racing. But I need to remind myself that I don't need to talk to her right now. It's my choice.
its a valid choice to hit pause, get some distance, and talk at a later point, if need be.
this is a good piece about how (and what extent) to navigate post breakup contact, with the goal of detaching:
https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/no-contact-right-way-wrong-wayedited to add: approaches to detachment may vary by circumstance. this is a good way to clarify your goals:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=284223.0
