Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
June 17, 2018, 07:08:25 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Site Admin: Wentworth (lead)
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Please Donate Login Register  
Pages: 1 [2] 3  All   Go Down
Author Topic: Is cutting and suicidal ideation common to all pwBPD?  (Read 23720 times)
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 967

« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2008, 05:13:24 PM »

Another problem with suicide in BPD is it is hard to tell if they actually intended DEATH to happen. Most BPD and other personality disorder suicide attempts are done within the presence of others, leading to questions about suicidal intent. Contrast this to mood disorders where suicide rarely takes place in the presence of others. BPDs also lack a set date/plan for suicide and it is usually an impulsive act. This too differs from mood and other mental health disorders. I agree with walrus. They are out to hurt others by hurting themselves. My ex has had multiple "suicide attempts", although i think she consciously made sure she would be found. She would always call me after cutting herself or ODing on pills. She would then blame me for her pain. Saying, if i would have only acted in such a such a way she wouldn't have been in soo much pain and wanted to kill herself. Same goes for cheating. After she cheated on me she admitted it was just to get me back and show me she could hurt me the way i "hurt" her.

This kind of story disturbs me, in a way. I'm not saying your BP wasn't threatening/attempting "for the drama" as it were, but as a friend of a BP who successfully committed suicide, I take ALL threats/attempts extremely seriously- even veiled. And trust me- my friend fully intended to kill herself (self-inflicted gunshot to the head).

Please please PLEASE don't generalize all BPs as not intending to really kill themselves.

Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 734

« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2008, 05:27:16 PM »

I second what you have said, Joshua, I lost a friend, too.

I would never characterize their self-harm or suicidal ideation or attempts as "selfish" acts.  Their pain is Unbearable.
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 178

« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2008, 02:10:58 PM »

I too second Joshua (or is it third?) in taking all BPD suicide talk seriously.

When my 16 y/o BPDd voices her suicidal idealizations - i listen. It is her attempt to seek help to push the thoughts away before they overcome her ability to cope with carrying them out. She doesn't always voice them however. She has attempted suicide

(8 times in the last 4 years) . I am trying to keep her from adding to the statistic of succeeding.

There are many aspects of BPD and to generalize that threats of suicide is all drama can lead others on this board to wrong conclusions, with a BPD in their lives.


a nap is always good, if you can find the time take one!
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2983

Think outside the box.

« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2008, 03:03:57 PM »

I have to take all suicide threats seriously. My boyfriend works closely with his counselor, but in general his pattern is to not say anything to other people until the crisis is in the past, sometimes weeks. this pattern has led his therapist to suggest inpatient to him at times which he does not want to do. He does come from a very abusive history, some of which I was in his life and witnessed. Tip of the iceberg kind of things. I cant honestly say i would have survived living his life. It is one of my greatest fears that he would commit suicide without saying anything beforehand so i try to encorage him to talk whenever he is feeling bad.


Offline Offline

Posts: 36

« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2011, 06:10:20 AM »

Does everyone with BPD cut or self-mutilate. My mom fits alot of the description, but never any cutting that I am aware of.
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 5308

« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2011, 09:44:04 AM »

My wife never did.

Life is short. Shorter for some than others.
Randi Kreger
DSA Recipient
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Person in your life: Parent
Posts: 620

Author of the 'Essential Family Guide to BPD"

« Reply #16 on: March 10, 2011, 11:02:15 PM »

Does everyone with BPD cut or self-mutilate. My mom fits alot of the description, but never any cutting that I am aware of.

No. Therapists get this wrong a lot.
Offline Offline

Posts: 1097

« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2011, 11:50:07 AM »

it's not always blatant. My BPD wife is a scab scratcher and picker.  There are some cuts that are years old.

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
-    Buddha
Offline Offline

Posts: 61

« Reply #18 on: March 16, 2011, 10:12:36 PM »

My ex sometimes bite's and picks at her lips to the point where they bleed and get very sore. I used to have to constantly pull her hand away while we were watching a movie or something, she'd just sit there destroying her lips i don't think she even realised she was doing it.  Sometimes we couldn't even kiss or make out because her lips were so sore.

It only seem'd to happen when she was nervous or stressed out like when people bite there nails, I don't know if it's a BPD thing or just common but sometimes her lips looked really painful, surely it cant be normal.
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 125

« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2011, 01:25:55 PM »

My m has had suicidal tendencies ever since I can remember. She would hold a sharp knife to her wrists and neck, she would put her head in the oven, take a bottle of sleeping pills, etc. It was a very stressful time in the household, and my father did not know what to do so he did nothing. My m is now 80 and continues to do the same ___. Last summer it was a bottle of rubbling alcohol and some sleeping pills. It is truly amazing that she is still alive, at the ripe old age of 80! Triggers are when she is overwhelmed or stressed, feels abandoned, when she has returned for a trip, or at christmas time. I don't get it. I am slowly getting it, with the help of this site, however! It makes me so sad and I pity her so much. I have tried desperately to get her help, but she wants no part of it.
Links and Information
The Big Picture
5 Dimensions of Personality
BPD? How can I know?
Get Someone into Therapy
Treatment of BPD
Full Clinical Definition
Top 50 Questions

My Child has BPD
My Parent/Sibling has BPD
My Significant Other has BPD
Recovering a Breakup
My Failing Romance
Endorsed Books
Archived Articles

How to Stop Reacting
Ending Cycle of Conflict
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Values and Boundaries
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools

Membership Eligibility
Messageboard Guidelines
Suicidal Ideation
Domestic Violence
Policy and Disclaimers
Professional Endorsements

Google+ (Professional)

Your Account

Moderation Appeal
Become a Sponsor
Sponsorship Account

Pages: 1 [2] 3  All   Go Up
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2018, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!