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Author Topic: BPD BEHAVIORS: Emotional Immaturity  (Read 74152 times)

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Person in your life: Parent
Posts: 11

« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2015, 11:54:32 AM »

i just spent a week vacation with my uBPDm and ooh the temper tantrums. it was horrible. i'm glad to know that there is a reason for those.


This board is intended for general questions about BPD and other personality disorders, trait definitions, and related therapies and diagnostics. Topics should be formatted as a question.

Please do not host topics related to the specific pwBPD in your life - those discussions should be hosted on an appropraite [L1] - [L4] board.

You will find indepth information provided by our senior members in our workshop board discussions (click here).

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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2580

« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2015, 01:59:00 AM »

Really powerful thread. I could apply it to my partner, mom, and Ex partner, who is a bipolar sociopathic addict. Thank you for posting.

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Person in your life: Friend
Posts: 6

« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2015, 06:37:14 PM »

She was very demanding of affection but would be picky about what she wanted. She would constantly say "can I have a hug" or "please kiss me" but then snap if I did something else, for instance stroking her hair, she would tell me off. If I was late home from work she would get really upset and say she had been lonely. If I got home too early she criticised me for not warning her.

Interestingly she would often talk in a childish, baby voice, usually when she wanted something. She would say things like "chocolate" or "beer" and expect me to then go out and buy her these things. rolleyes

This exactly! How do you respond to a BPD friend who does this? By all means, I'm happy to give a hug, but do you just do exactly what they say each time? Is that the right/best response?

Then there's the cutesy "cookie" asking. If I go get one, I get told off because "I could've done that". If I don't, then I'm a bad person who doesn't love her.

I struggle with the line between being helpful and generous (which is my nature) and doing what is right for her.

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Posts: 1

« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2017, 05:59:05 PM »


4. Egocentricity Egocentricity is self-centeredness. It’s major manifestation is selfishness. It is associated with low self-esteem. Self-centered people have no regard for others, but they also have only slight regard for themselves. An egocentric person is preoccupied with his own feelings and symptoms. He demands constant attention and insists on self-gratifying sympathy, fishes for compliments, and makes unreasonable demands. He is typically overly-competitive, a poor loser, perfectionistic, and refuses to play or work if he can’t have his own way.

A self-centered person does not see himself realistically, does not take responsibility for his own mistakes or deficiencies, is unable to constructively criticize himself, and is insensitive to the feelings of others. Only emotionally mature people can experience true empathy, and empathy is a prime requirement for successful relationships.

In my Experience with my BPDgf is that she Is this way ONLY with me 95% of the time, and also when someone else she feels has done her wrong. With everyone else she will move mountains to care for them and do anything to please them. Is it that they reserve this poor treatment only for their SO that loves them?
« Last Edit: February 06, 2017, 01:04:48 AM by heartandwhole, Reason: fixed quote box » Logged
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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4978

« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2017, 01:07:55 AM »

In my Experience with my BPDgf is that she Is this way ONLY with me 95% of the time, and also when someone else she feels has done her wrong. With everyone else she will move mountains to care for them and do anything to please them. Is it that they reserve this poor treatment only for their SO that loves them?

Hi alrakhealed,

Intimate relationships can trigger symptoms in someone with BPD that remain largely under wraps with other, not so close relationships. It's not surprising that she behaves differently with you than with others, although I know it can be frustrating and hurtful.

I encourage you to start a new thread and tell us more about your situation. As you may have noticed, there are lots of resources and tools that can help.  smiley


  When the pain of love increases your joy, roses and lilies fill the garden of your soul ~ Rumi
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Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 2

« Reply #15 on: February 20, 2017, 02:13:51 PM »

1. Volatile Emotions Emotional volatility is indicated by such things as explosive behavior, temper tantrums, low frustration tolerance, responses out of proportion to cause, oversensitivity, inability to take criticism, unreasonable jealousy, unwillingness to forgive, and a capricious fluctuation of moods.

Wow when I read this it hit home for me. This saves me from thinking I'm crazy. So many times my uBPD husband is so volatile. A dirty dish in the sink can lead to explosive anger. I'm still unforgiven for things from before we were married. Thank you for giving a name to my problems. Finding SWOE and this group is like a lifeline.
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