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Author Topic: TREATMENT: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)  (Read 6308 times)
Tattered Heart
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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 1923

« Reply #25 on: September 14, 2017, 10:26:40 AM »

I don't know anything about this type of therapy but I found a peer reviewed article on the subject of EFT and BPD. (or at least the abstract). You might be able to find the original article to see what the research has shown.


Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life Proverbs 13:12

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Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 207

« Reply #26 on: September 15, 2017, 03:05:46 PM »

Well our marriage councilor was ETF and he felt that as a BPD she would respond better to DBT.

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« Reply #27 on: September 16, 2017, 04:13:45 AM »

I'm so glad that my post was added to this thread. It was informative reading other peoples experiences with Eft in a BPD relationship. My H and I went through a long faze of reading psych books ourselves and trying to figure out our individual issues as well as our problems as a couple this way. We read a few books about Eft and tried doing the exercises without the benefit of a T. This had disastrous results in two ways: 1: I tried to become securely attached and become a secure base for him by not complaining or becoming angry and providing every need or want that he had if it was in my ability to possibly do so. The result was that my BPDh became increasingly demanding and hard to please. The effect this had on me was that since he was becoming less and less reasonable and I wasn't allowing myself any anger or boundary's that I internalized all of that anger into shame and my chronic depression worsened to the point that I was very suicidal. 2: the second issue that happened was when we tried to do the exercise where you pour your heart out in a connected state about a wound or trauma that happened in the relationship in the past. When I did this (again without T supervision) He became the most emotionally disregulated that I have ever seen him. It was like a nervous breakdown. He is normally functional BPD but he became non-functional for a few months. He was crying often and would stare at me with eyes wide open like a terrified small child looking at a vicious dog. He would spiral and rock his body and cry hysterically. This is why I was worried to try eft again. I can see now though that working with a psychiatrist and taking it slow can possibly be good for us. He also has more emotional skills than he did before. Back then he was not able to tell what emotion he was feeling accept sometimes anger. Now he is starting to differentiate emotions and identify them, including shades of emotions like frustration vs anger. His T says that his progress is faster than his average patient which is promising. He is also sometimes able to see if he had unjustified anger in some circumstances, this is unprecedented in our 17yrs of marriage. I plan to use eft communication in moderation and not to address any deep anger or deep pain that he has caused me for the time being.

"I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity" Sarah Bareilles
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