BPD and the Church 2 (Christian Discussion)

[empath]

Continuation of the discussion about BPD and Christianity.

A little over a month ago, uBPDh became extremely frustrated and went into a rage. This led to a physical incident where he put his hands on my neck. This weekend, we were talking about it, and he said that he was angry that God didn't prevent him from acting that way. He doesn't think God hears him.

This isn't the first time that he has started feeling abandoned by God because things happen in a way that he doesn't want them to.

Right now, he is putting on a good front in public, but at home, he is expressing his feelings -- and trying to convince me that I'm not supported by our church and/or God. I've become pretty good at keeping my head in reality.

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[flowerpath]

1. He's angry that God didn't prevent him from putting his hands on your neck and he feels abandoned by God.

2. He's trying to convince you that you are not supported by the church and/or God. 

Wow.  It's a good thing you are keeping your head in reality.

Does his trying to convince you that you are not supported by the church and/or God have something to do with what he sees as lack of submission?  And how you have boundaries?

[flowerpath]

BTW, my H put his hands around my neck ONE time.  Long time ago, but it's etched in my memory.

[tjay933]

your first responsible before God, then man. "we must obey God as ruler rather than men" is what the apostles told the religious leaders of their day and it applies today as well and in marriages.

imo-my God has given me the strength to continue on and to endure to this point. He has never yelled at me, demeaned me or degraded me in any way so why would i chose a man over Him? He has ensured that i have a roof over my head and food in my stomache, not man, God. i have felt His help in more ways and in more instances than I can get into for help when I needed it, i will not leave my God for any man. He can give you the same strength as well. Men will come and go but God will be there forever. He loves women and men alike.

my BPDh also feels abandoned by God but with such behaviour, maybe there's a reason God doesn't help him? it is written (in micah i think) that God will not hear the prayers of those who abuse their wives. so if God isn't helping him, maybe that's because he should behave better?

[empath]

Does his trying to convince you that you are not supported by the church and/or God have something to do with what he sees as lack of submission?  And how you have boundaries?

I guess the answer is in a sort of round about way. Currently, it is more an issue of my being in a leadership position which makes him 'uncomfortable'. Our church is the most supportive one towards women that I have attended. He is rethinking his own position and goals, so mine get lumped into his. We've been on this road before, and this time, I recognized the scenery earlier.

We've had other times when he claims that I am not submissive. Yeah, I don't submit to things that I (and God) think are wrong -- especially when I am being forcefully told to submit to his 'authority'. Submission is not the same as obedience.

The hindrance of prayer is in 1 Peter.

Thankfully, H is trying. He is seeking professional outside help, now (meds, therapy, doctors).

[mywifecrazy]

your first responsible before God, then man. "we must obey God as ruler rather than men" is what the apostles told the religious leaders of their day and it applies today as well and in marriages.

imo-my God has given me the strength to continue on and to endure to this point. He has never yelled at me, demeaned me or degraded me in any way so why would i chose a man over Him? He has ensured that i have a roof over my head and food in my stomache, not man, God. i have felt His help in more ways and in more instances than I can get into for help when I needed it, i will not leave my God for any man. He can give you the same strength as well. Men will come and go but God will be there forever. He loves women and men alike.

my BPDh also feels abandoned by God but with such behaviour, maybe there's a reason God doesn't help him? it is written (in micah i think) that God will not hear the prayers of those who abuse their wives. so if God isn't helping him, maybe that's because he should behave better?

Love your post. Reminds me of my favorite verse. Rom 8:28

MWC... .