looking for RTC for 16 yr old daughter w/ strong BPD traits

[SadGranny22]

hello. I'm a new member to the post and reaching out for help.  My 16 yr old has suffered from major anxiety &depression for the past 3-4 years, been in & out of PHP/IOP programs, hospitalized several times from self-harm & attempted suicide including a 90-day stay at an RTC.  She has tried several antidepressant meds (SSRIs & SNRIs) including atypical antipsychotics as a mood stabilizer without much success. She also suffers from social anxiety and has school avoidance issues. She has not attended school for the last several years. We've used many different ways to make her go to school unsuccessfully.  We're working with her school to get her into an RTC program through the school district & county but this process is very long & tedious. She does have an 504 & IEP plan. After her last very serious close call suicide attempt she has now refused all meds. She recently refused all forms of counseling and therapy treatment. Our last resort is another attempt at an RTC for a longer term that will provide lasting positive outcomes for our daughter.
Our searches have mostly come up with facilities treating substance abuse &other addictions which  is not applicable to our child. We're very concerned about her picking up other undesirable habits & behavior in this environment. Sadly, this happened during her first time in a PHP program and several of these bad qualities have stuck. I am desperately seeking suggestions on locating a RTC (specifically for teen girls) with treatment focusing on BPD. All helpful feedbacks are most appreciated.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi SadGranny 22. I don't have any suggestions as to a program I am sorry to say. You don't say what area would be possible for you to access, so that might be helpful if someone else out there knows of something in that area.

But I just wanted to say how much I feel for you at this time. Your dd has such complex needs and you have tried absolutely everything and supported her in every way.

It is particularly worrying that she is refusing any medication at the moment when she seems particularly fragile. You must be at your wits end.

There are many people here who can identify with what you are going through.  I hope someone here can suggest something suitable and that it will be helpful.

I also hope that just knowing there are so many people out there who understand your pain and anxiety. We are on a journey like no other I think and just to know there are people who understand. Sending hugs and thoughts.

[kells76]

SG22, I'm wondering if you have already looked at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts -- it sounds like you have explored so many options that it wouldn't surprise me. If not, you can check out their web site for child/adolescent MH treatment here:

https://www.mcleanhospital.org/child-teen

they post their phone number on that page.

Their adolescent DBT program is called 3East (https://www.mcleanhospital.org/treatment/3east) and a brief description reads:

"Our programs focus on treatment for depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and emerging borderline personality disorder (BPD). Symptoms of these conditions include suicidal thoughts and behavior, self-injury (such as cutting), disordered eating, drug and alcohol misuse, impulsivity, and significant interpersonal difficulties."

You could also try calling their phone # and seeing if they could refer you to somewhere else -- perhaps somewhere they know about that would be a better fit that you and I just haven't heard of.

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this excruciating experience. I hope you find a program that gives all of you some peace.

[Roisin]

Sad granny  My heart goes out to you. You are on a most painful journey. I too have experienced almost all you have shared with my daughter. 13 hospitalizations, residential programs, day programs & a list of meds that is a page and a half long. Some of these programs added to the problems & my daughter was mistreated. One program was shut down by the state for abuse. If you do not have an amazing insurance or you are not extremely wealthy the options we as parents are left with are subpar at best. Yes there is McLeans in Massachusetts. They come with an impeccable reputation, but no one gets in unless they can pay out of pocket or have the best of insurance.  Do your research, ask the hard questions such as has this institution been reported to state for abuse, call State Dept of Education for info. Question certification of workers especially with regards to restraint protocols. Physically tour the facility. Do not take no for an answer. I wish you & your granddaughter all the best.

[livednlearned]

SadGranny22, I'm so sorry to hear how much pain and suffering your D16 is going through.

We had a lovely member here years ago who shared her experience with RTC for her teen daughter that you might find helpful:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=120563.msg1188708#msg1188708

There are also some links here that might help, too:

What does hospitalization accomplish?
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=167125.0
 
Any anyone tried or looked into residential therapy?
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=112487.0
 
Is an RTC right for our well-behaved Borderline 17 yr old daughter?
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=156853.0
 
When to consider RTC?
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=96323.0
 
Residential treatment?
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=125499.0
 
When do you know to get day treatment or IOP for your d/s?
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=173381.0
 
Long term residential treatment
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=188872
 
Medicaid and Residential Treatment
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=181325.0
 
Insurance Coverage and RTC
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=203810.0
 
SS Disability
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=178545.0;all
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=199881
 
Who can afford it?
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=163692
 
How to pick a RTC
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=196049.0
 
How to Find a Residential Facility
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=210503.
 
Suggestions on residential facilities for 16 yr old daughter
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=204766.0
 
RTCs
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114130.0
 
How to transition home from RTC
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=200919.0
 
Coping Skills for Parents when their child is inpatient
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP9mhmALVbY&feature=youtu.be

I also recommend reading Blaise Aguirre's book about BPD and adolescence if you haven't read it already. There are youtube videos online, too. Dr. Aguirre used to be at McLeans, the same hospital kells76 references.