Message in a Bottle: the things you WANT to say to your ex

[JSF13]

This is what I said:

My guess is you are gonna make this hard. So no problem. Thank you lying to me and others for the entire duration of knowing you. It goes to show the type of person you are. You may be able to fool everyone like you so sickly brag about but you have to live with yourself. It was nice to find out and see first hand that it was you. I honestly don't even know what you've told me about any of your life to be true and my guess is this is why you run. You were right. We are not the same. We don't believe in the same things and it's you who's moral compass is very off. We may have met wrong and I may have not been so forthcoming after July about Brittany but I never cheated on you. The lies that spill from your mouth are just that. Lies. The abortion that you chose, you telling people I put my hands on you, stealing your money, lying about your interactions with people, the hat incident and other miscellaneous tales. You may have fooled a few of my friends temporarily but it all came out in the wash as it always does. I don't know how you live with yourself and what you do to people. What gets me even more is that i genuinely loved someone you fooled me into believing you were that clearly you are not. You will have insurance on your car for a few more days till I switch companies since it's the only way I can get you off my policy. Please do not interfere with my life past this. You have done enough damage and I do not want to have to escalate this into a legal matter. I hope someday you find peace and honesty in your life and don't hurt anymore people along the way.

[alwaysT_Time]

The way everything became my fault was not cool.

The way you forgot certain things and denied them was not cool.

The way I had to walk on eggshells and did not feel safe sharing my true opinion was not cool.

I don't know if you were drunk or not when you wrecked my car, but either way, when you said you didn't feel guilty about it was not cool.

The way every time I agreed to reconnecting was not cool.

Be well. Take care.

[FlyFish]

I gave you all of my heart. And I now realize that you could not do the same for me. And because of this there will always be a part you that is entrenched within me. You were right when you stated "I was to good for you" even though I never believed it myself. I still don't. The love we shared was magical and I fear I may never feel that way again.

Through all the sadness, betrayal, hurt, anger, and confusion you put me through I forgive you. And more importantly, and much harder, I have forgiven myself. You truly let a beautiful love slip away. Deep down somewhere you know this to be true. I hope one day you realize what I gave to you as I know you have never been given that before.

Please stay strong and remember the magical times we shared.

Farewell. I miss you and love you.

[steve195915]

Mostly I have a lot of questions but I know it would be fruitless because they don't have a normal mind, they can't acknowledge fault or guilt sincerely.  Their actions are irationale so how can I expect a rationale answer.  I mean how can one day they tell you how great you are, how much they love you, say they will always be there for you, make love like you never experienced,  then the next day over nothing they say they're done and next thing you know they're with someone else and not experiencing any pain or remorse in your relationship breaking up when you felt you had the deepest love and connection ever possible? 

I need to accept its just the mental illness and learn to never get involved with a pwBPD like that again!

So if I had to say something I'll go along with "I hope you choke on that chicken bone!".

[cosmonaut]

I am so proud of you.  I never told you that enough, but I am.  You make me so proud.  You were such a light in my life.  You have brought me so much joy.  All of the best memories of my life have you in them. You were the highlight of my life.  Thank you.  Most of all, I love you.  I love you so, so much.  Always.

[disillusionedandsore]

Who the hell are you? You scare me. So many useless,  pointless lies... .Tragic.

[StateofShock]

I mean how can one day they tell you how great you are, how much they love you, say they will always be there for you, make love like you never experienced,  then the next day over nothing they say they're done and next thing you know they're with someone else and not experiencing any pain or remorse in your relationship breaking up when you felt you had the deepest love and connection ever possible? 

THIS

[steve195915]

I mean how can one day they tell you how great you are, how much they love you, say they will always be there for you, make love like you never experienced,  then the next day over nothing they say they're done and next thing you know they're with someone else and not experiencing any pain or remorse in your relationship breaking up when you felt you had the deepest love and connection ever possible? 

THIS

They can't answer that question because there is no sane logical answer.  The truth is they have a tragic mental illness.  They can't comprehend what they did and are doing so certainly can't explain why. 

[JohnThorn]

"Starting up contact with you again after more than a year set me back in ways I could have never anticipated."

[steelwork]

Every few days I stuff a note in this bottle and then shake it out and replace it with another note.

Today I would say:

"When I apologized to you, you said you could write me a letter of apology that was twice as long, but you didn't tell me what it would say. I want you to know that I would forgive you for any of the things you might have put in that letter.

You said you feel like a different person now, but really, personalities don't change--only perceptions. I know who you are, and you are loved, whether we ever speak again or not. Try to put the shame away.

You probably already know you have borderline personality disorder. I hope the relationship you are in now can accommodate that. You were right to replace me. I would have destroyed myself trying to help you."

[steelwork]

oops posted twice

[hope2727]

"I love you. I miss you. Please get well and come home. You are so loved my dear."

[thisworld]

Hello you grandiose entitled idiot,

Let me correct something about your "angel". I am fully aware of the dupe high you get from deceiving me, lying to me, cheating on me, stealing from me and narcissists like you are indeed very predictable creatures who act with symptoms rather than authentic behaviour. Your actions are classified as emotional, sexual and physical violence even though you don't seem to agree and I'm powerless against you in front of law. Even your invalidating words are listed sentence by sentence on websites talking about psychopathic love. So much for the victim you think you are. And you think you want to remain friends? I'd rather befriend a psychopath because at least they have a smirk and sometimes confess their set-ups so I won't have to think about what is real and not long after they are gone and they won't change their minds five times in a minute.

Now, you seem to have concluded that I am an "inborn" angel who is incapable of doing those hurtful things that you do. You seem to relate my "goodness" with an innate "weakness" that you attribute to me. Now, this is not so. I was good to you not because I was not capable of being otherwise or devoid of your skill set. I was good to you because at some point in my life I made an ethical choice about how others can/should be treated and how they cannot/should not. Now, you are kicked out of that ethical framework forever. I'm suspending all ethics when it comes to you. Consider yourself lucky that I'm not cheap enough to start smear campaigns before you start them. Consider yourself twice lucky that I'll allow you to do some badmouthing behind my back and to portray me as a sick woman, a control freak whatever. However, the moment you attempt to do things that could cause me real damage in my life, you will find a formidable enemy who can shamelessly expose you in more ways than you can imagine, to a greater degree than you can ever do to me. You may think that you know my soft spots but do not forget for a second that you have been way more talkative than would benefit a malicious person like yourself. None of your fears, none of your complexes, none of your secrets are safe with me anymore. I now what hurts you most and you know that I know it. And many more, if you think about it. This could be a contract of silence between two enemies but you are not controlled enough to carry on with your promises, so I will take my own safe and legal precautions without resorting to you. The moment you attack, you world may collapse on you in more ways than you can imagine. Go and give it a try, I don't care. Sit there with your anxiety, I don't care. F***kety bye.     

[JaneStorm]

"I am not abandoning you; I am saving Me. If I stay with you, there will be no Me."

[Stolen]

"The only thing your evil mother ever said that I wish I had noted, was when she called you a pathological liar"